They haven't, not for awhile now.
I guess, to be honest, that isn't entirely true.
The words DO come, but mostly in fragments.
They hold hands, in some shy, chaste form of courting.
But, they refuse to consummate their union.
There's no mating, no creating of more words. No birth of a post.
Wow, see what I did there? I just totally sexed up sentence forming.
I'm sure this is a sign that I should totally stop writing, like, RIGHT. NOW.
But, I never was one to take a hint.
When words fail, then it's time to turn to pictures. Or drawings?
Oh, yeah...I'm learning to draw.
I've always doodled, but mostly inanimate things.
Recently, however...my doodles became more animated.
I'm not an artist...yet. Some of my friends would disagree with that emphatic declaration. But, I'm not sure I can claim such a title at this point of my self discovery journey. I don't feel I deserve it. I haven't worked for it, and therefore, haven't earned it.
Same goes for 'talent'. I do suppose I have some - I can mimic and mash up images I've seen to create what I want. That's either talent or creativity - possibly both.
I often tweak it...a bit....
(Dinosaurs drawn from instruction book. Outfits and personality straight from my imagination)
This may be 'talent'. I call it an ability to follow direction with a heaping side of quirky. What I bring to the drawing table is imagination - those of you that know me, KNOW I am full to brimming with imagination.
Above 3 images were possibly created after too much Bourbon.
I used to love writing flash fiction stories. An idea would come and *BAM* a super short story would flow from my fingertips. Since those words aren't as available to me as they used to be, my brain decided it STILL needed an outlet for certain thoughts. One of those thoughts is the desire to look on the outside the way we feel on the inside.
Everyone loves a mermaid.
"I'm tall, thin and beautiful"
Work in progress - Dragon wants to be a unicorn.
I have more images in my head, which may some day come to life.
I go to drawing class once a week through the community center. My goal is to learn the fundamentals of drawing and to connect with peoplewho can help me continue to tell stories, even when words fail. I'm even considering drawing meet-ups. Yes, me...Ms. Shy and Introverted. Drawing is, apparently, luring me out to frolic on the dark side. Scary stuff.
What's also scary is sharing with you. Despite an outpouring of supportiveness, it is never easy to let people see what I've created. Each time I post a drawing on Facebook I know there will be a small group of friends who love it. I also know there is a group that think I've lost my mind...again. And, there is a fear that people will think I do it just for the kudos (the compliment kind of kudos, not the granola bar).
I share because I am still a work-in-progress. At 45 I'm finally starting to say "YES" to things that interest me, instead of wrapping those nagging voices in duct tape to shut them up - because, people can't hate what you don't create, right?
But, the desire to create and let those voices speak is becoming too great to suppress - I'm giving in and going for it.
Inspired by a greeting card I found at Trade Joe's.
p.s. I may even start writing again.
p.p.s. This post doesn't count as writing.
p.p.p.s. If you make fun of my drawings, I'll probably cry.
p.p.p.p.s. Then, I'll hunt you down and pinch you.
p.p.p.p.p.s. Really, really hard.
p.p.p.p.p.p.s. And maybe kick you in the shins.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. So, be nice - I'm a newbie.