Come in, sit down...get all comfy. What shall we talk about?
Did you bring coffee cake? Or cinnamon rolls? Or Bailey's?
Well, then you only get the short version:
Previous failed attempts at becoming ruler of the Universe and Planet Earth have led me to a quiet existence as a mother to two teenage Beasties. Or, so it would seem....
Instead of giving my money to charity, I send it all to a mad scientist who is working on bringing back dinosaurs. I'm going to open a dino ranch - I bet they taste like chicken and I'll make a fortune!
My covert plan is to cross breed a velociraptor with a unicorn, making it extra invincible. I'm not entirely sure why it would be extra invincible, that is the mad scientists job. I'll be needing a herd of them for my minions to ride as we sweep across the planet conquering nation by nation. But it is covert, so don't tell anyone - it will be our little secret.
There will be some kinks to work out, one being how I smell. Apparently I always smell like food, according to Beastie #2. We have a nightly game when I pick her up from cheer practice, where she tries to figure out what's for dinner based on the odor I'm giving off. So, my plans to overthrow the planet could be thwarted by my reeking of pot roast and potatoes. Being eaten by your own Velicorn (or should it be Uniraptor??) would be really bad for my Queen Of Everything image.
Other than being a SAHM, a sometimes part time college student, wife to the bestest most amazingest Hubbypants for all times and herder of cats, I really got nutin' else to tell ya (at least while The Man is watching my page - text me and I'll give you an application to apply for Minionhood where you'll get a cool code ring, secret handshakes and a discount on Velicorn/Uniraptor riding lessons).
Thanks for stopping by. Ya'll come back now, ya hear....AND BRING DESSERT NEXT TIME.