Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Juicageddon - Day 1: I'm Alive!!

We lived!


I miss food.

Day 1 of the juicing fast was fine, except that we lost a soldier. Three of us went in, only 2 came out to plow ahead toward Day 2.

My daughter caved, she couldn't take it. After going all day she melted down and ate a bagel with pepper jack cheese.

I can still smell it.

And then she ate a bowl of Chocolate Cheerios.

I can still smell those, too.

S'ok, because it just means that I only need to buy enough veggies and fruit for just Hubbypants and I to continue this fast for 4 more days.

I need to buy a damn farm. The amount of veggies and fruit needed to make enough juice for at least 3 meals, plus more if we are feeling fragile, is staggering. I'm kind of glad my daughter dropped out. Cha-ching, baby! Oy.

However, so far everything I've created has been drinkable - not that we wouldn't choke it down if it weren't, no way are we wasting all that money nutritious gold.

Day 1 started with a 16 ounce juice made of:
Red pepper

Lunch was a 16 ounce Berry Upbeet smoothie from Jamba Juice - made with beet/veggie and berry juices, nothing else.  It was tasty - but boy, something with sherbet in it would have been divine.

I spent the next hour and a half salivating every time we walked past the food court. Only crazy-ass people go to the mall during the first phase of a fast. While my sister-in-law enjoyed her lunch, I drank a venti chamomile tea from Starbucks. And it sucked donkey balls I was totally happy and satisfied with that.

The rest of the day was spent drinking various herbal teas and drinking gallons of water, 100+ ounces to be exact...enough to fill a damn swimming pool. That sloshing noise is me walking through the house.

When Hubbypants got home from work we walked for 30 minutes - up hill - before making our dinner juice. I made it up the hill, despite my deprived state...weakened from hunger, struggling for each step. O.k. not so much, but my tummy was rumbley and someone nearby was making something that smelled really 'effing yummy.

Dinner juice was:
Red & green bell pepper

It was...fine. It tasted like a glass of veggies and fruit, so I guess I'm doing something right. Although, if I were to make it all taste like a chocolate milk shake? Well, then...I'd market that bitch and be richer than J.K. Rowling, those guys who founded Facebook and Microsoft and all the oil sheiks in the Middle East. I'mma get right on that.

As for how I'm feeling?  Fine. I'm hungry and I feel like I want to eat - like, chew something - but, I'm not feeling bad. I've got energy, no headaches or feeling faint, etc.

As of this morning I was down 4 pounds from yesterday's morning weight. That means that my body has expelled every ounce of liquid I consumed. I counted my eleventybillion trips to the bathroom toward my daily aerobic activity. Although, I must say I have not experienced the...um...cleansing...part of the fast yet. I just know there is another 2 pounds - AT LEAST - of horrid toxicity hanging around in my intestines and colon. Apparently my body is being a toxic hoarding jerk. Whatever, I'll just drown it again today and show it who's boss.

So, there ya go, Day 1. I'm now into Day 2 and...well...you'll just have to wait until tomorrow.


  1. SO, what prompted the Juice Fast? xoxoxoxo

    1. Watching Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead on Netflix! Although, we won't be going as extreme as the guy in the film!

  2. That sure is commitment! Wish I was there to join you.

    1. I firmly believe we can do anything for a short period of time. But, food? We (a good portion of the population) is so emotionally attached and connected to it. Interesting experiment.

  3. Wow! Good for you!!! I've considered juice fasting often, recently, mostly because my body – from time to time – responds to my rising coffee and chocolate intake with outright revolt. So then I drink green tea and eat popcorn for a day or two and reward myself with a family-sized bag of M&M's.... *sigh* I wonder if I can find myself a juicing retreat. With, you know, spa people, and massage therapists, and zero shrieking children. *swoons* Anyway: Rock ON, lady!!!

    1. Coffee {drool}....CHOCOLATE {{DROOL}}...M&M'S {{{drowning in my drool}}}. Wait, did you say something else? ;-)

  4. good for you!!!!!!

  5. I've often thought about doing this, but wow, I don't know! I would love to lose six pounds of toxicity in a few days, though! Keep on going. Can't wait to read more!

  6. I have chewing issues. I have to chew my food or chew something. It is purely in my brain I know. I have increased my water intake back up to preholiday levels. Woot?

    I'm proud and in awe of you! Soldier on and let us know how it goes tomorrow.

  7. I love living in the UK. Not that I'd ever do a juice fast as my primary aim is to at least maintain my weight, if not increase it, but I can get a bottle of ready-made awesome smoothie action in dozens of different flavours for as little as £2. Awesome. Sauce.