My butt hurts. Like, really hurts. The muscles and tendons and all the things that keep my legs attached to my butt? Well, they hurt too.
And my feet...don't even get me started on my feet. I'm totally buying new walking shoes - tomorrow, when I'm able to move again.
I WILL be able to move again, right?
I was --->this<--- close to cancelling my plans to hike with Hubbypants again this morning. Over 7 miles yesterday left me feeling stiff and achy this morning, with a desire to curl up next to my coffee cup and not leave the couch.
But then I started flipping through the Title Nine sportswear catalog. Go visit the link, I'll wait.
See? Functionally cute clothes! Everything wicks - as in, draws away perspiration, stretches in all the right places and then stretches back so you don't have any saggy-baggy areas.
Whenever I walk through REI with Hubbypants I admire the functionality of the clothing, the soft and supple fabrics that are also stylish (a.k.a. no frumpy active wear). Target is starting to carry some things, but for the most part is is clearly active wear. Title Nine and REI have bridged the chasms, married the two sides and produced clothing you can look fucking awesome in, despite whatever grueling activity you are doing at the time.
At least it looks that way on the hanger and in the catalog. I wouldn't know, because I've always fallen just outside of their sizing charts.
How I long to wear a slinky sundress that I can walk around in on a hot day and not show how I'm sweating buckets (wicking fabric is actually the best invention ever, sliced bread doesn't even come close). How I've wanted to wear those cute peasant cut blouses that are also form fitting with those flouncy skirts that fall just above the knee. Everything made of that lush fabric.
Oh...the fabric.
So, it was Title Nine that inspired me to put on my sports bra (that I actually did buy from them), my shoes and hit the trail for ANOTHER 7+ mile hike.
Oh, I put pants and shirt on, too. Just in case you were worried...I wasn't just wearing a bra and shoes. This time. I'm new to this hiking thing, I'm learning what is acceptable on the trails and I get so damn hot! Trust me...nekkidness is not generally acceptable attire for hiking.
My goal is to own some of those clothes.
And, not just own them, but actually be able to wear them.
And not just wear them, but have them fit properly AND look good.
Losing 25 pounds has gotten me closer, but Title Nine dresses are still just beyond my grasp. My next weight goal is 22 pounds away. By then I'll be inside of their sizing chart - barely, but I'll be there.
When that happens, I'm buying a damn dress.
Or something.
Anything...any damn thing that fits, I'm buying it.
Zombies happen and when they do, you just need to add whipped cream to your coffee. And maybe some Bailey's. You just do.
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Sunday, March 03, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
Juicageddon Day 2, 3 & 4 - Or, How I Almost Died
O.k., obviously I'm not dead. {unless I'm a highly dexterous Zombie who's fingers have not yet atrophied).
But I was almost dead!
Well, not so much.. But, if you think about it, we could die at any time - it's not something you can actually predict. So, yeah....
Perhaps the truth is that I was no where near death, but might have 'felt' like I was. A smidgen.
And so, today's post will be to tell y'all how my Juicing challenge is going to hell in a hand basket, like the express bullet train to hell.
Day 2 was fine, I went through the day feeling hungry, but physically doing o.k. I was run down, feeling a bit tired, but nothing that slowed me down too much.
My breakfast and lunch consisted of:
Sweet potato
Carrot
Pear
Apple
Cucumber
Celery
Ginger
This was THE tastiest juice yet! I really liked it, but alas did not save any for Hubbypants to try. Sorry, Hubbypants. Love you!
I'll skip the rest of the juices I made, because it's B.O.R.I.N.G. Other than to say, don't juice Swiss chard, unless you enjoy drinking things that taste like lawn clippings that turned to the dark side or holding your nose while you drink. I'm still gagging just thinking about it.
I started feeling a bit run down the evening of day 2 and ended up slogging through day 3. I stuck to the plan of just juice, but the night of Day 3 did me in. While sitting on the couch, playing on my laptop, I felt as if my brain did a reboot - things got twirly, as if a giant troll picked up my house, spun it around quickly and set it back down. I had to go to bed after that. (let's note, here, that Hubbypants has been doing perfectly fine...the bastard...Love you oodles, sweet of my heart).
The morning of Day 4, still feeling a bit woozy, found me inhaling three heapinglyginromouslyhumungous soup spoon size bites of leftover soup before leaving for an appointment. Said appointment took much longer than I expected, so I was HON-GRAY by the time I got home. I then whipped up some juice for lunch, which...I think...actually evaporated before it hit my stomach. The run down feeling, achy tummy and blah feeling persisted, so I ate two heapinglyginromouslyhumungous spoonfuls of peanut butter. I didn't even care about potential gluten cross contamination - shoveled that shit right into my mouth. At least it was a smaller spoon than I used for the soup. (have you ever noticed how much peanut butter you can fit on a little spoon? I'm equally adept with Nutella). I drank my dinner juice, thought I was doing fine, until that sneaky woozy feeling started to come on. So, I said, "Screw it", and had more soup. Slightly more than the morning, but certainly NOT what a normal person would consider a serving. Poor Hubbypants, I sat right next to him while I ate it. It might have been a passive/aggressive attempt at getting back at him for doing so well.
How well IS he doing, you ask?
Oh, he's doing fine. Dandy, even. He isn't even feeling hungry. It is merely because I love him so dearlyand that we don't have enough life insurance on him to keep me in the princess lifestyle I've grown accustomed to that I don't kill him in his sleep.
glasses glass (singular...that's my story, sticking to it) of tequila I sipped last night. Apparently, soup is a gateway food. What? I just enrolled my daughter in the homeschooling program through our school district. She's in 9th grade, so it isn't like the work is easy. Did I mention that I'm the 'teacher' according to the district. You would deny me tequila? No...no, you would not.
Besides, tequila is 'natural'. It is 100% agave after all. I think that is considered a vegetable, right? A vegetable that has, for all practical purposes, been juiced...and fermented. Fermented stuff is good for you.
Anywhooo...I'm going to wrap up with some thoughts, because all the stuff above didn't involve any brain power - pretty much like most of my blog posts.
Yes, I would do it again. My experience with our very first fast will help me prepare much better for future fasts. I'll certainly plan to juice double the amount to make sure we are getting enough calories. Losing weight is great, but losing it from severe calorie deprivation isn't good, since it will likely come flooding back. I'm going to work really hard to keep off most, if not all, of the 9 pounds I lost this week.
Also, I do think juice (or even green smoothie) fasts are great. It is a challenge to disengage ourselves from food and can also help us gain a bit of control over cravings. If the volume of work, or buying a juicer scares you, there are alternatives...like purchasing prepared juices (and not just a giant jug of orange juice).
Whatever you do, read...read...read...to understand how much you should consume, what the side effects might be and to listen to your body. I did, but fell short.
That's it, my descent into hell is complete. I'm not unhappy about it, I'm pretty sure I was destined to live eternity there anyway.
p.s. You may have noticed there is no day 5. Shut up, someone will hear you. I'm hoping no one else notices.
p.p.s. The chicken sausage and egg I ate this morning was practically orgasmic.
p.p.p.s. Hubbypants is STILL sticking to plan. Because he is awesome, a natural at it even.
p.p.p.p.s. I hate him just a little bit.
But I was almost dead!
Well, not so much.. But, if you think about it, we could die at any time - it's not something you can actually predict. So, yeah....
Perhaps the truth is that I was no where near death, but might have 'felt' like I was. A smidgen.
And so, today's post will be to tell y'all how my Juicing challenge is going to hell in a hand basket, like the express bullet train to hell.
Day 2 was fine, I went through the day feeling hungry, but physically doing o.k. I was run down, feeling a bit tired, but nothing that slowed me down too much.
My breakfast and lunch consisted of:
Sweet potato
Carrot
Pear
Apple
Cucumber
Celery
Ginger
This was THE tastiest juice yet! I really liked it, but alas did not save any for Hubbypants to try. Sorry, Hubbypants. Love you!
I'll skip the rest of the juices I made, because it's B.O.R.I.N.G. Other than to say, don't juice Swiss chard, unless you enjoy drinking things that taste like lawn clippings that turned to the dark side or holding your nose while you drink. I'm still gagging just thinking about it.
I started feeling a bit run down the evening of day 2 and ended up slogging through day 3. I stuck to the plan of just juice, but the night of Day 3 did me in. While sitting on the couch, playing on my laptop, I felt as if my brain did a reboot - things got twirly, as if a giant troll picked up my house, spun it around quickly and set it back down. I had to go to bed after that. (let's note, here, that Hubbypants has been doing perfectly fine...the bastard...Love you oodles, sweet of my heart).
The morning of Day 4, still feeling a bit woozy, found me inhaling three heapinglyginromouslyhumungous soup spoon size bites of leftover soup before leaving for an appointment. Said appointment took much longer than I expected, so I was HON-GRAY by the time I got home. I then whipped up some juice for lunch, which...I think...actually evaporated before it hit my stomach. The run down feeling, achy tummy and blah feeling persisted, so I ate two heapinglyginromouslyhumungous spoonfuls of peanut butter. I didn't even care about potential gluten cross contamination - shoveled that shit right into my mouth. At least it was a smaller spoon than I used for the soup. (have you ever noticed how much peanut butter you can fit on a little spoon? I'm equally adept with Nutella). I drank my dinner juice, thought I was doing fine, until that sneaky woozy feeling started to come on. So, I said, "Screw it", and had more soup. Slightly more than the morning, but certainly NOT what a normal person would consider a serving. Poor Hubbypants, I sat right next to him while I ate it. It might have been a passive/aggressive attempt at getting back at him for doing so well.
How well IS he doing, you ask?
Oh, he's doing fine. Dandy, even. He isn't even feeling hungry. It is merely because I love him so dearly
Besides, tequila is 'natural'. It is 100% agave after all. I think that is considered a vegetable, right? A vegetable that has, for all practical purposes, been juiced...and fermented. Fermented stuff is good for you.
Anywhooo...I'm going to wrap up with some thoughts, because all the stuff above didn't involve any brain power - pretty much like most of my blog posts.
- Juicing is a pain in the ass.
- Juicing takes a huge amount of effort as well as produce.
- Planning is super important for anyone planning to bring juice to work. Hubbypants needed a breakfast juice AND a lunch juice, plus a snack juice.
- We FAILED on planning a snack juice. Big time.
- Everyone is different, but for us we should have been drinking AT LEAST 4-5 twenty ounce glasses of juice. AT LEAST. To get enough calories to not feel woozy and out of sorts, I think closer to 30 ounces per juice would have been wise. Hubbypants did fine on 3-4 sixteen ounce juices a day, but I did not.
- I got sick of juicing, the actual preparing of the juice, 2 days ago. Too much work for a long period of time.
- Ease back into solid food with small, nutritious meals. Going the veggie route for a couple of days is probably the best choice. You certainly wouldn't want to cancel out all the effort of several days of fasting in one meal!
Yes, I would do it again. My experience with our very first fast will help me prepare much better for future fasts. I'll certainly plan to juice double the amount to make sure we are getting enough calories. Losing weight is great, but losing it from severe calorie deprivation isn't good, since it will likely come flooding back. I'm going to work really hard to keep off most, if not all, of the 9 pounds I lost this week.
Also, I do think juice (or even green smoothie) fasts are great. It is a challenge to disengage ourselves from food and can also help us gain a bit of control over cravings. If the volume of work, or buying a juicer scares you, there are alternatives...like purchasing prepared juices (and not just a giant jug of orange juice).
Whatever you do, read...read...read...to understand how much you should consume, what the side effects might be and to listen to your body. I did, but fell short.
That's it, my descent into hell is complete. I'm not unhappy about it, I'm pretty sure I was destined to live eternity there anyway.
p.s. You may have noticed there is no day 5. Shut up, someone will hear you. I'm hoping no one else notices.
p.p.s. The chicken sausage and egg I ate this morning was practically orgasmic.
p.p.p.s. Hubbypants is STILL sticking to plan. Because he is awesome, a natural at it even.
p.p.p.p.s. I hate him just a little bit.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Juicageddon - Day 1: I'm Alive!!
We lived!
Dude...
I miss food.
Day 1 of the juicing fast was fine, except that we lost a soldier. Three of us went in, only 2 came out to plow ahead toward Day 2.
My daughter caved, she couldn't take it. After going all day she melted down and ate a bagel with pepper jack cheese.
I can still smell it.
And then she ate a bowl of Chocolate Cheerios.
I can still smell those, too.
S'ok, because it just means that I only need to buy enough veggies and fruit for just Hubbypants and I to continue this fast for 4 more days.
I need to buy a damn farm. The amount of veggies and fruit needed to make enough juice for at least 3 meals, plus more if we are feeling fragile, is staggering. I'm kind of glad my daughter dropped out. Cha-ching, baby! Oy.
However, so far everything I've created has been drinkable - not that we wouldn't choke it down if it weren't, no way are we wasting all thatmoney nutritious gold.
Day 1 started with a 16 ounce juice made of:
Kale
Blueberries
Blackberries
Red pepper
Carrot
Celery
Apple
Cucumber
Lunch was a 16 ounce Berry Upbeet smoothie from Jamba Juice - made with beet/veggie and berry juices, nothing else. It was tasty - but boy, something with sherbet in it would have been divine.
I spent the next hour and a half salivating every time we walked past the food court. Only crazy-ass people go to the mall during the first phase of a fast. While my sister-in-law enjoyed her lunch, I drank a venti chamomile tea from Starbucks. Andit sucked donkey balls I was totally happy and satisfied with that.
The rest of the day was spent drinking various herbal teas and drinking gallons of water, 100+ ounces to be exact...enough to fill a damn swimming pool. That sloshing noise is me walking through the house.
When Hubbypants got home from work we walked for 30 minutes - up hill - before making our dinner juice. I made it up the hill, despite my deprived state...weakened from hunger, struggling for each step. O.k. not so much, but my tummy was rumbley and someone nearby was making something that smelled really 'effing yummy.
Dinner juice was:
Broccoli
Red & green bell pepper
Cilantro
Spinach
Apple
Celery
Orange
Cucumber
Avocado
Ginger
It was...fine. It tasted like a glass of veggies and fruit, so I guess I'm doing something right. Although, if I were to make it all taste like a chocolate milk shake? Well, then...I'd market that bitch and be richer than J.K. Rowling, those guys who founded Facebook and Microsoft and all the oil sheiks in the Middle East. I'mma get right on that.
As for how I'm feeling? Fine. I'm hungry and I feel like I want to eat - like, chew something - but, I'm not feeling bad. I've got energy, no headaches or feeling faint, etc.
As of this morning I was down 4 pounds from yesterday's morning weight. That means that my body has expelled every ounce of liquid I consumed. I counted my eleventybillion trips to the bathroom toward my daily aerobic activity. Although, I must say I have not experienced the...um...cleansing...part of the fast yet. I just know there is another 2 pounds - AT LEAST - of horrid toxicity hanging around in my intestines and colon. Apparently my body is being a toxic hoarding jerk. Whatever, I'll just drown it again today and show it who's boss.
So, there ya go, Day 1. I'm now into Day 2 and...well...you'll just have to wait until tomorrow.
Dude...
I miss food.
Day 1 of the juicing fast was fine, except that we lost a soldier. Three of us went in, only 2 came out to plow ahead toward Day 2.
My daughter caved, she couldn't take it. After going all day she melted down and ate a bagel with pepper jack cheese.
I can still smell it.
And then she ate a bowl of Chocolate Cheerios.
I can still smell those, too.
S'ok, because it just means that I only need to buy enough veggies and fruit for just Hubbypants and I to continue this fast for 4 more days.
I need to buy a damn farm. The amount of veggies and fruit needed to make enough juice for at least 3 meals, plus more if we are feeling fragile, is staggering. I'm kind of glad my daughter dropped out. Cha-ching, baby! Oy.
However, so far everything I've created has been drinkable - not that we wouldn't choke it down if it weren't, no way are we wasting all that
Day 1 started with a 16 ounce juice made of:
Kale
Blueberries
Blackberries
Red pepper
Carrot
Celery
Apple
Cucumber
Lunch was a 16 ounce Berry Upbeet smoothie from Jamba Juice - made with beet/veggie and berry juices, nothing else. It was tasty - but boy, something with sherbet in it would have been divine.
I spent the next hour and a half salivating every time we walked past the food court. Only crazy-ass people go to the mall during the first phase of a fast. While my sister-in-law enjoyed her lunch, I drank a venti chamomile tea from Starbucks. And
The rest of the day was spent drinking various herbal teas and drinking gallons of water, 100+ ounces to be exact...enough to fill a damn swimming pool. That sloshing noise is me walking through the house.
When Hubbypants got home from work we walked for 30 minutes - up hill - before making our dinner juice. I made it up the hill, despite my deprived state...weakened from hunger, struggling for each step. O.k. not so much, but my tummy was rumbley and someone nearby was making something that smelled really 'effing yummy.
Dinner juice was:
Broccoli
Red & green bell pepper
Cilantro
Spinach
Apple
Celery
Orange
Cucumber
Avocado
Ginger
It was...fine. It tasted like a glass of veggies and fruit, so I guess I'm doing something right. Although, if I were to make it all taste like a chocolate milk shake? Well, then...I'd market that bitch and be richer than J.K. Rowling, those guys who founded Facebook and Microsoft and all the oil sheiks in the Middle East. I'mma get right on that.
As for how I'm feeling? Fine. I'm hungry and I feel like I want to eat - like, chew something - but, I'm not feeling bad. I've got energy, no headaches or feeling faint, etc.
As of this morning I was down 4 pounds from yesterday's morning weight. That means that my body has expelled every ounce of liquid I consumed. I counted my eleventybillion trips to the bathroom toward my daily aerobic activity. Although, I must say I have not experienced the...um...cleansing...part of the fast yet. I just know there is another 2 pounds - AT LEAST - of horrid toxicity hanging around in my intestines and colon. Apparently my body is being a toxic hoarding jerk. Whatever, I'll just drown it again today and show it who's boss.
So, there ya go, Day 1. I'm now into Day 2 and...well...you'll just have to wait until tomorrow.
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