Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Too Much Me

There may be a bit too much 'me' floating around the Internet.

I love interaction and building friendships. I like commenting on blog posts and Facebook posts. I like creating my own presence in cyberspace.

I admit to being a Facebook junkie. I have a lot of free time, I just do. And so, I use it to build connections.

Well, at least that his how I looked at it.

Perhaps I should have just gotten a day job.

Bloggy advice says the best way to build your own blogging community is to put yourself out there and write, write, write. But, you also have to comment, comment, comment. You need to reach out to other bloggers to build an audience and following.

So, I did. I wrote, wrote, wrote.  I turned my skin inside out and bared myself, mustering up as much honesty as I dared. I read blogs, I commented on blogs and I built a community. At least, my 'follower' numbers revealed as much. We all know that the actual number of eyeballs reading is a totally different thing.

It isn't just blogging - I spent lots of time on Facebook. I know, I'm prolific, I post a lot. I was connecting, remember? I could no doubt win a Feed Clogger award. But, that is how I communicate, so I thought all was well.

And then the crickets.

Which means silence.

Which means...perhaps I've given too much of myself.

Comments on my blog started to tumble. Comments on Facebook updates started to dwindle and then often stop completely.


I'm a very observant person. I'm not imagining this. It is a reality.

So, either I said something that pissed off a lot of people...

...OR...

they're tuning me out.

The latter is probably true. I really can't say I blame them.

I didn't intend to be that person. I mean, I thought I was being an attentive friend/reader/entertainer/community builder. But, instead I may have worn out my welcome.

So, I stopped commenting. I stopped keeping up with all the posts in my Google Reader. I drew back. I cut way back on writing. Sort of a knee-jerk reaction if you will.

Maybe making myself scarce would return balance to the universe?

Occasionally someone will come up with a comment about liking my posts - someone I had no idea read me. Or they might comment about something I posted on Facebook and I had no idea that they even paid attention to me. Perhaps they really would notice if I disappeared? Maybe...


But really...it's a Catch 22. I followed the rules, but ignored the idea of moderation and put ALL of me on display. And then my audience moved on.

Did I offend?

I admit to loving the interaction. I admit to loving the idea that people respond to me. I don't think there is any shame in that. I don't write for myself, I write to connect - whether it is a blog post or a Facebook status update. I don't write for praise and kudos - I participate to build friendships.

I'm unlikely to change. So I have a feeling Facebook filters will be put to good use where I'm concerned. That's o.k. I understand - there is a lot of me floating around.

I felt the need to share the fact that I know I'm annoyingly everywhere. I apologize if my approach to keeping connections is...a bit much. I'm sorry if I'm just a little too...quirky, I know it shows in my writing and I'm ever so grateful to my few loyal readers (friends) who put up with me!

I'll continue to be me. And I'll likely continue to put myself out there. I'll likely find new ways to achieve annoying stalkerdom. I'll probably continue writing, but...I will absolutely continue to be Too Much Me.



15 comments:

  1. Melinda12:20 PM

    Usually posting a comment is a pain in the ass. I don't know why. Maybe because I usually read on my smart phone (that often pisses me off with how dumb it is). Maybe because something times out while I'm trying to say what I want to say in a "smart and funny enough to be Melissa's friend" way. Maybe I'm just an unworthy but very lucky idiot. A very lucky idiot who is gonna wrangle a posted comment outta this blog if'n it kills me.

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    1. Blogger is a pain in the arse! I totally get it. I do, though, hope that my meaning was clear. It isn't so much about lack of comments as it is about perhaps being too 'in your face', too ' everywhere' that people get tired of you (you = me). I think I may be approaching that point, but I've got momentum so I'm likely to barrel right through it regardless. ;-)

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    2. Melinda12:30 PM

      Barrel through. You're definitely not too in my face. I am fully capable of choosing to read or to not read on any given day based on how much time I have. Today, for example, I am being supremely lazy and am catching up.

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  2. Now you gonna make me cry, sweet Amiga! I try to remember to come and read. I LOVE what you write, and that is not just a bunch of hogwash either. Now, as far as Facebook, I am rarely on, mostly because my kids complain that I haven't gone to see their pictures. SIGH!

    And as often as I remember, I check on BlogHer to see if you've posted there, too. But I LOVE you, dearest friend. I do! :)

    So here I am pouring my heart out. And I don't care that the whole world reads this. You better NOT stop writing, okay. I've got a few posts that have gone neglected, too. People just come and go... And I'll shut up now.

    Love and BIG virtual hugs!

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    1. Aw, I don't want to make you feel bad. Honestly, I probably went all "Melissa" and screwed up again. My intent wasn't to make anyone feel bad about NOT commenting, but to write about how I've noticed that it might be ME being too much....ME...and just sort of blending into the wallpaper. I didn't not intend to inflict any guilt trips. I'm sorry. Really. {hugs}

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  3. If you changed, I'd peench you. So I'm glad to hear you're not. Personally I'd never had these thoughts about you, I'm just a lazy commentor, poster, liker, whatever-er lately. ;)

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    1. LOL - sometimes I think being less 'me' would be better. I guess that would mean just sort of shutting up and keeping my fingers from typing things. Really, the more I put myself out there...the more people withdraw from me. Makes ya wonder, no?

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  4. Psh... put it out there! ;0)
    What drives me crazy is when I write a piece which isn't great - sometimes it's honestly just a piece of crap I wrote trying to keep the momentum going (or get it going) and several people post. But then I write something I'm really proud of - and NOTHING!

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    1. Exactly! When I think I've been funny or have said something that will draw people out, I'm always surprised that I hear nothing but crickets. Of course that means I'm not as funny as I think AND that whatever I said was just stupid. Le sigh.....but, there ARE people that 'get me' and I'm so appreciative of that (thank you).

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  5. Anonymous1:06 PM

    Too much you? Oh, friend. As if there could be too much you. True, I do occasionally feel woefully inadequate to the title of friend. I'm lame with comments and I often mean to come back and follow up later, and then...life or laziness happens.

    And if you say anything about a guilt trip, I'mma send you a plastic crab just so you know I'm thinking of giving you SUCH a pinch.

    Your exuberance and out-there-ness are delightful.

    A. stands for Actually, I might send you that crab anyhow

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    1. Oh, I know there is that whole life and laziness thing, I'm subject to it myself. Really, though...what I've noticed goes beyond that. I'm always thinking I might have put my toes just over that line of sharing too much and I've been glimpsed for what I am...just an odd duck (oops, sorry for the bird reference). Odd sort...is that better? Thank you for the kind words...I'm glad you find me delightful and I appreciate my peeps that DO get me!

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  6. I've only just started reading you in the last month! Brand new here!

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  7. Lol. I just found you. Pour away. I love to read it all...

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  8. I love seeing my early morning feed clogged with your late night FB posts!!

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  9. It's not you, lovely. I blame it on the weather. Spring/summer/fall...those are always really busy times for people - vacations, BBQs, kids out of school and running amok. For me, that's audit season and I'm swamped until, frankly, now.

    My own blog is feeling neglected and lonely. It seems like I haven't had the time to write, read, or comment in forever. But guess what? NaBloPoMo begins in just a couple of weeks, the weather's getting cooler, days are shorter, and more people will be cozying up to their readers and basking in the warmth of our imaginary friendships once again. Take heart. xo

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