Sunday, July 08, 2012

Secret Ambitions - What is yours?

I have a green thumb!!

O.k., so maybe some would argue that the 'green' more closely resembles the color of that murky sludgy stuff you find on the bottom of a swamp - a brackish, blackish green. Sort of.

Fine. I have a black thumb...happy now?

My approach to gardening is not dissimilar to that which I take toward raising my children: some TLC with a bit of tough love, teaching self reliance, learning to feed and care for oneself, etc...etc...etc.

This, I have found, works better on human children than it does on a plant. Unlike my human children who quickly learned that mommy didn't like to get up as early as them and therefore adapted to that situation by learning to expertly pour milk into their cereal bowls at an early age, plants cannot creep over to the hose and water themselves.

In other words....plants don't tend to last long around here. Or, rather...plants that I am responsible for seem to have a shorter life expectancy than what is posted on their poky little tags. Hubbypants is far more adept at keeping leafy things alive and thriving.

Pfft...wimpy ass plants.

That being said, my Grim Reaper approach to gardening hasn't stopped me from longing for a medicinal garden.

I love reading historical fiction that involves healers who forage the woods for healing plants they ultimately turn into teas and poultices that sooth the aching tummy or leech bacteria from wounds.

I suppose a couple of hundred years ago this would have been seen as witchcraft.  I'm not nearly disciplined enough for that, I'm far too lazy. At this point in my life I'd be happy to just plant some mint and chamomile that I can pick whenever I remember it is there. (poor little plants, I apologize in advance, before even planting you...)

But, still...I wonder...wouldn't this be a great skill to have when the zombie apocalypse hits and all modern facilities fall into ruins? When the hospitals close down and the labs stop producing beneficial drugs because all the scientists have become shuffling, grunting hunters of human flesh...something like those special pigs that search out truffles? Wouldn't this be a grand skill to have in order to barter for goods (a.k.a. wine) and such, when people are in search of simple remedies for cuts, scrapes and bites from battling the hordes?

Yes...yes it would.

It still fascinates me, the idea of using natural remedies for common maladies. What if science over thinks it all and the cure for a zombie apocalypse is nothing more than a good strong brewed tea of mint, chamomiles and some obscure knuckley little root found at the base of a dogwood tree?

Could happen. Or, isn't any more far fetched than the idea of a zombie apocalypse.

I'm right, you know it.


What is YOUR secret passion?
What have you always wanted to learn more about, but have yet to dip your toes into?
What little quirky interest are you willing to admit you have?


  1. A secret ambition? Oy. I think most of my far fetched ambitions have been quite publicized. (President, Rock Star, Martha Stewart, etc) I do have a real one though, one of these days, when the kids let me work and I find a sponser to pay for all of it, I'm going to rescue last leg dogs from shelters and train them for service work, and then donate them. Service training is one of my favorite parts of my job... and it's where I'd really love to take it. One day.

    And the cure for zombies is coffee. I'm positive.

  2. AWESOME! I love the idea of a medicinal herb garden, but I am too lazy to put the work into actually creating it.

    My secret ambition is to be a homesteader. Huge garden, canning and freezing enough to support us through the hard winters, living on the land and our livestock. Yeh... that's gonna happen.

  3. Next summer, I'm just planting weeds in my garden - I'm real good at growing those! We came back from vacation and my 8 year old said "Mommy! Look how good your garden is growing!" I'm keeping her and getting rid of the other ones.

    Secret passion... does gambling count? No? I got nuttin'.