Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Reader Woes

Do you think it's possible to break Google Reader?

Like, will it bow, splinter and then finally crack under the weight of all those un-read blog posts?

I'm woefully behind, as in 1000+ items behind. I think the (+) is because Google got tired of counting how far into my slackitude I've slipped. I'm expecting them to email me soon threatening to mark everything as "read", just so their counter can get some rest.

Slowly, at a sloths pace, I'm working my way through my favorite blogs to catch up. I've also noticed that my feed does not include blogs I thought were there.

"How could you miss them?", you might ask...


I just haven't been paying attention.

I could have SWORN over a box of Thin Mint cookies that I plugged those blogs into my Reader feed MONTHS ago. But they aren't there.


Since I have been non-existent on Twitter I don't see when these same Bloggers share their posts.

Then...well...there is the fact that I've just sort of 'checked out' of this whole writing thing, whether from lack of material or envy over other writers ability to find material. Or, just a desire not to write anything.

Oh, and...there is a slight chance that Ms. Crankypants (my alternate personality) is waging a vigorous campaign to take over my thoughts and become Supreme Ruler of Melissa's Brain. Who knows what havoc she'll wreak if she gains control! Whoop-Whoop...Danger, Danger Will Robinson! {if you don't know that reference, then you 'might' be too young to read my blog}.

Everything of late irks me. I'm intolerant of oodles of things - some might say EVERYTHING, but I would argue that point (which, is probably more conclusive evidence that Ms. Crankypants is gaining territory over my noggin).

However....I vow that this shall not remain the case!

I AM reading those blogs.
I AM commenting, just to let those wonderful, talented writers know that I appreciate them sharing their lives with me through their blogs.
I AM going thwart Ms. Crankypants and the evil little minions she's dispersed throughout my body in the form of aches, pains and all other forms of irksomeness.

If you have not yet received a comment from me, don't despair...you will. I know you've been anxiously awaiting my return and that your days have been a drudgery, filled with longing for my words of inspiration and...um...oh hell, even I can't finish this without tears of hysterical laughter clouding my ability to type.

I think that, in addition to some digital love, I need to send some postal love as well.

AND NO...I'm NOT talking about something naughty. You KNOW you went there. Perverts.

I'm going to sit down and write out a few cards to some of my favorite peeps. I imagine the look on their faces and the little two step their heart makes when they see an envelop (that isn't a bill, propaganda or advertisement) addressed to them. I know this, because it happens to me....in case anyone wants to send ME a card. That's a hint that failed Subtle 101.

And so...I have nothing else to say, because like a box of See's Nuts & Chews...{poof}, all my thoughts just vanished.

So...Peace Out My Friends!

Now accepting donations for the Banish Ms. Crankypants Campaign (a.k.a. Melissa's Coffee Fund Because It is Sanity In A Cup). A nod to you, Lyn, and your post on my Facebook Wall!

This might be a Bailey's AND Whipped Cream in the coffee sort of morning. Or...skip ahead to Irish Coffee.

I will NOT eat the cake I'm baking for tomorrow's banquet.

And WHY did I say I'd make cake-pops for said banquet referenced in [p.p.p.s]?

If you need my address for the oodles of snail mail joy that you are just dying to send me, just email me.

To hell with subtle.

I think I might be using commas in a very UN-grammatically correct and inappropriate way today. I'm sure I'm insulting the English language, somehow, maybe...perchance.


  1. If the blogs you thought you added were non-blogger blogs and you used the "Manage Blogs" feature in your blogger dashboard, it's likely blogger is a piece and didn't add them. I now add all blogs - including blogger blogs - using the "Subscribe" button in Google Reader.

    PS Send me your address ;).

  2. Anonymous2:02 PM

    Well, Ms. Crankypants, I am here and am not upset because you haven't visited me in a while. I forget to visit some of my favorite people too. You included. So I apologize for my inconsistencies also. :)

    I wish I could contribute to your need of sweets and coffee, but I am desperately trying to lose weight (again!) here. Sigh!

    I wish I could make up my mind: stay fat or get think... GRRR!

    Also, I am glad I am not the only one going through menopausal pains, though I am sorry you are feeling out-of-sorts. :)

    Your friend I will still remain,

  3. Anonymous2:29 PM

    So you're saying you didn't stop commenting on my blog because the amazing talents I demonstrate leave you speechless? You didn't have to pop that bubble ya know. <3

  4. and blogger took my comment before I was done! Conspiracy I tell you!

  5. Oh, Alienbody, I also am behind in reading and writing. Mr. Guilt-bunny is sitting on my shoulder as I type. Send me your address, too!

  6. Jane - I did that for BlogHer and now get hundreds of different blog post updates! While it is wonderful, I really just wanted to keep up with a few peeps. Of course, it was probably user error and I goofed while doing it. Will try again!

    Virginia - Thanks for stopping by! I always, ALWAYS love to hear from you...even if you don't bring coffee cake. ;-)

    Emily - I DID stop commenting on your blog. I read 4-5 of your posts today and commented on them to try and catch up. Slacker, I am.

  7. You make me smile! If you find a way to banish Ms. Cranky pants can you send the solution my way? It's been a long week and it's only Tuesday evening! Lord Help Me!

  8. Anonymous10:56 AM

    Why is it that though I read the whole thing, one word stands out5? Cake. You said cake and now I want some.

  9. I'm very cranky lately too. And behind on my reading, which you can see because I'm commenting on like, 4 posts.