Friday, March 16, 2012

My Brilliant Idea #6,348

If I had a box of Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries in the house right now....I'd eat the whole box.

The whole damn thing...crunch berries last. 

Maybe even the cardboard box, since I doubt there is ANY fiber in the actual cereal itself  - one needs to think healthy, ya know.

Nothing like a good dose of Cap'n Crunch to smooth out the roof of your mouth. I love it, despite the sandpaper texture.

I hope you all got a chance to read YESTERDAY'S POST ON GUEST POSTING

If not, you SHOULD GO HERE NOW and read it.

Subtle is for weenies.

I'm going to start my guest posts on Monday. Today is Friday - said for my benefit, because some days I lose track and so that you'll know to hurry and volunteer, because this offer won't last forever!
(yes it will)

 But...this post isn't about badgering you to volunteer for a guest least it isn't from here on out, I can't vouch for the post script which is managed by a different part of my brain.

This post is about a book store. 

To be more specific, it is about a bookstore that I need someone to open and then hire me to work in, but not manage. Well, if I'm going to be perfectly honest, I don't want to actually 'work' either, but we can negotiate my level of slackitude.

This independent bookstore will have all the lovely little quirks that make me giddy: creaky floors, quirky books, unusual cards and bookish gifts - and a tiny cafe that serves the best coffee in the universe made by baristas covered in tattoos with radiant smiles (that tattoos won't be smiling, the baristas will - I suppose this is where a good knowledge of proper puncutation would come in handy).

There will be wing-back chairs and loveseats - but no wifi - you are shopping and browsing, not camping! This ain't your office, buddy!!! I'll work on my personable customer service skills before the store opens, I promise.

But, the best feature will be our exclusive book club, which isn't really exclusive but peeps like to believe they are apart of something that no one else is privy to, so...

Our monthly meetings will be fancy shindigs where food and drink will be served up based on some theme from the book AND...(the best part) will be from local merchants. Think of this as community building (which will help you better swallow the exorbitant annual membership dues - don't forget that nifty decoder ring, too). 

 It will be a hoot 'n a holler! We'll close the bookstore to the public, so only the privileged members have access (this is where the decoder rings come in handy). Then, at the end of the meeting, we'll reveal the NEXT book - which, you can conveniently buy right on the spot!! O.M.G. No second trip to the bookstore, No worries about whether the library will have it - BAM and done! What a time saver that will be! Always thinking, I am.

I have more ideas, in case the brick and mortar store doesn't work out - retail space can be expensive. Wait until you hear my ideas for a mobile book store! You. Are. Going. To. HEART. It.

I'm such a genius!

I save that for another post because *some* people complain that my posts are occasionally too long. So...that's it for today.

Post script doesn't count as part of the blog.

So, I need one of y'all to get crackin' on this bookstore idea because I really need a job and I don't think I'm qualified to do anything else but sit around reading and planning book club meetings.

Remember, I already established that I didn't want to actually 'work'. This is the perfect solution. Trust me.

Remember, I take PayPal if anyone would like to fund this idea. Also, too...accepting applications for store manager - must appreciate slackitude in employees named Melissa (but no one else).

In case you missed the previous links for YESTERDAYS GUEST POST, HERE IT IS AGAIN.

Oh, and the decoder ring is just for show...we won't really have an codes to decipher - because that requires 'work'.

So...who'd like to drop off some Cap'n Crunch?


  1. Hahaha! I use to work in a small book store many moons ago! It was not nearly as quaint as the one you describe :)

  2. Fine I'll open the bookstore if only "A"'s and my ideas are allowed, which 'ello, I'd be the owner... but you'd have to move here... the goat is sorta anti-ocean <3

  3. I'd totally hire you to slack off in my bookshop.

    Have you ever seen Black Books? It's a British comedy series set in a book shop and it is hi-lar-i-ous!

  4. I have ALWAYS wanted to own a bookstore. Maybe my retirement job. I'll keep your job application on file ;)

  5. Anonymous7:07 AM

    I kinda need my bookstore to be on an ocean but I might compromise with a REALLY big lake.

    Also, too, I don't believe that the goat is anti-ocean. NO ONE is anti-ocean once they've been there.

    Furthermore, yes. Yes, and yes.


  6. Yes, the book store will have to be somewhat near the ocean, at least an easy drive away from it. I could not be landlocked, that would be bad...bad...bad. Large lakes will suffice, but still...the doing make the crashing waves that the ocean does...I like crashing. Of course, I could be convinced to work for both and split my year, as in: I work for Emily during the non-tornado months and then work for A. during the other times, near the sea. Y'all just need to plan my airfare into your budget.

  7. Anonymous6:13 PM

    I used to work in a bookstore, many moons ago, until it went out of business...thanks to Barnes & Noble. And even though I got paid beans and grains of rice, I'd work at a bookstore again. I really enjoyed my time there.

    I am no barista, but I can make goodies. :)

    Hugs Amiga!

  8. Virginia - Oh, I would absolutely work for beans! I just love the whole environment. I'm just sad that they are all closing down in favor of ordering via the internet.

  9. Anonymous1:15 AM

    Barnes & Noble, Nook, Kindle, blahblahblah... They can bite me.
    Fireside Books is a home away from home, a church, a therapy center. "Good books, bad coffee." No WiFi. Free drip-coffee. Plenty of conversation. Books new and used and sellers who know their customers by name and put books under the counter for the next time you come in.
    I'm going tomorrow. I have used-book credit and a need for a new-to-me book, some bad coffee and my favorite bookseller's smile.

    Try not to be jealous.


  10. I know you don't really want to work, but it sounds to me like this might be your calling?