I’m here today to end the madness of messages that keep popping up on
my screen about writing a guest post. This Melissa girl is MAD I tell
(I told you! Isn't her enthusiasm infectious? Sort of like the flu.
To be fair, I did badger the heck out of her, 'cause she's so stinking great...so there!)
proper for a guest post. Do I just dive right in and try to take over
the world, possibly stealing every reader Melissa’s blog has? Do I go
subtle and try to brown nose my way through it? Should I be all
serious and straight-laced or do I try to pretend to be witty?
Some ideas fluttered through my head. (Riiigghht, those were 'ideas' fluttering in the belfry)
Like a mock-up of her infamous Wordless Wednesday post to describe the
novel I’m in the midst of editing.
Courtesy of Emily, I didn't steal these.
Or maybe a mash-up of the best of from my own personal blog over at
Coffee and Spellcheck.
Could I do a whole post about a goat?
What about a memoir of something stupid from my youth?
–Like I’m going to share a picture of that! HA!–
(Oh, that's o.k. I'll find a picture for you! Y'all keep reading...
I'm going to go Google 'groupie', be right back! What?? I'm kidding!!!)
BUT WHAT IF SHE HATES THEM ALL!!??
(She was serious, people. Serious! I'mma give her SUCH a pinch for thinking I'd hate anything she wrote. PEEENCH!)
Seriously folks, this whole guest post could destroy the entire
essence of our young budding friendship!!! What if I send her five
different ideas that are HORRIBLE, but she still posts one to make me
feel good, but THEN her blog BOMBS because of me?! Which then will
send her into a deep depression and will ruin her whole entire life!
(Easy, you'd have to give me the goat to make up for it.The goat is keyootness)
OR what if my post is so awesome she can’t take it? What if jealousy
eats her alive and then she sends her mob out to get me in the middle
of the night?! After all I have heard talks that she controls an
entire mob of zombie vampire unicorns! I mean zombies, sure I could
take them out, and the goat could help with plain old vampires,but
ZOMBIE VAMPIRE UNICORNS!!! And even worse, she might throw glitter at
(I won't lie...she's THIS close to glitter bombardment >this< close. Emily is a much more talented writer, she is writing a freaking NOVEL...that I've read parts of. The story she created in a month...A MONTH...doing NaNoWriMo. *get back to editing, Emily...quit reading this guest post*)
Okay so all of the above might not happen, and I might be exaggerating
a wee bit… but maybe not. Would you want to take the risk of
upsetting someone with nuclear super powers? (I'm accepting minion applications, just sayin'...)
I didn’t think so.
I ain’t gonna do it. Nope. I like my glitterless unicorn free life,
thank you very much. (note to self: send Emily a special card A.S.A.P.)
Wait no, I forgot one thing, I think there ALWAYS has to be a P.S. here…
soooo P.S. If Melissa tries to con you into doing a guest post, RUN!
Run like the devil was chasing you with a mob of zombie vampire
unicorns! (note to self: TWO special cards. *searches for sticky glitter*)
P.S.S. So I have witnesses, Melissa you still owe me a guest post. (It's only fair, after I've inserted all these little snippets into your post. Hehehe...you are going to eat me alive, I just know it)
P.S.S.S. If I die tomorrow without warning you know who is responsible!
**************** THANK YOU EMILY **************
Emily took some convincing, because she 'claims' to be stuck editing and isn't feeling very creative. Pfft...LIAR! Emily is an extremely talented writer and she REALLY is working on editing her novel. She does this...wait for it...between tending a homestead full of animals, some of them human. She's got kids, 3 dogs, a goat, chickens, moosengoosen, something that howls in the woods near her home...the list? I goes on! Did I mention her family runs their own business, too? Ha...I'm tired writing all this.
She went to college for mass communications, left for photography, left that for political sciences and left that for dog training. Me thinks it was serendipity, because her path is leading her toward a career in writing...even if I have to push her kicking and screaming into it.
Emily's blog is sometimes witty, sometimes profound and touching. I'm happy to call her my friend and I hope you enjoy her blog as much as I do. Please check her out (her blog, people...minds OUT of the gutter *eye roll*):
HA! Gotcha...I'm not doing a post script today...neener neener.