Thursday, March 22, 2012

Guest Post 2: Emily of Coffee and Spellcheck

Emily is in da house! She just jumped at the chance to guest post, her enthusiasm evident in her writing. I know you are all anxious, so I'll save her bio until the end...but, if you just can't contain yourself, then be sure to visit her over at Coffee and Spellcheck (this link WILL be repeated, yo).

 ********Heeeerrrrreeeee's Emily!*********

I’m here today to end the madness of messages that keep popping up on
my screen about writing a guest post.  This Melissa girl is MAD I tell
you.

(I told you! Isn't her enthusiasm infectious? Sort of like the flu.
To be fair, I did badger the heck out of her, 'cause she's so stinking great...so there!)

Anywho, I’ve been sitting here for weeks trying to think up what was
proper for a guest post.  Do I just dive right in and try to take over
the world, possibly stealing every reader Melissa’s blog has?  Do I go
subtle and try to brown nose my way through it?  Should I be all
serious and straight-laced or do I try to pretend to be witty?

Some ideas fluttered through my head. (Riiigghht, those were 'ideas' fluttering in the belfry)

Like a mock-up of her infamous Wordless Wednesday post to describe the
novel I’m in the midst of editing.


Courtesy of Emily, I didn't steal these.
*cough*showoffwithherbetterstickfigures*cough*

 Or maybe a mash-up of the best of from my own personal blog over at
Coffee and Spellcheck.




Could I do a whole post about a goat?



What about a memoir of something stupid from my youth?

–Like I’m going to share a picture of that!  HA!–

   
(Oh, that's o.k. I'll find a picture for you! Y'all keep reading...
I'm going to go Google 'groupie', be right back!  What?? I'm kidding!!!)

BUT WHAT IF SHE HATES THEM ALL!!??

    (She was serious, people. Serious! I'mma give her SUCH  a pinch for thinking I'd hate anything she wrote. PEEENCH!)

Seriously folks, this whole guest post could destroy the entire
essence of our young budding friendship!!!  What if I send her five
different ideas that are HORRIBLE, but she still posts one to make me
feel good, but THEN her blog BOMBS because of me?!  Which then will
send her into a deep depression and will ruin her whole entire life!
What Then?! 

 (Easy, you'd have to give me the goat to make up for it.The goat is keyootness)

OR what if my post is so awesome she can’t take it?  What if jealousy
eats her alive and then she sends her mob out to get me in the middle
of the night?!  After all I have heard talks that she controls an
entire mob of zombie vampire unicorns!  I mean zombies, sure I could
take them out, and the goat could help with plain old vampires,but
ZOMBIE VAMPIRE UNICORNS!!!  And even worse, she might throw glitter at
me!

(I won't lie...she's THIS close to glitter bombardment >this< close. Emily is a much more talented writer, she is writing a freaking NOVEL...that I've read parts of. The story she created in a month...A MONTH...doing NaNoWriMo. *get back to editing, Emily...quit reading this guest post*)

Okay so all of the above might not happen, and I might be exaggerating
a wee bit… but maybe not.  Would you want to take the risk of
upsetting someone with nuclear super powers?  (I'm accepting minion applications, just sayin'...)
I didn’t think so.

I ain’t gonna do it.  Nope.  I like my glitterless unicorn free life,
thank you very much.  (note to self: send Emily a special card A.S.A.P.)

The end.

Wait no, I forgot one thing, I think there ALWAYS has to be a P.S. here…

soooo P.S. If Melissa tries to con you into doing a guest post, RUN!
Run like the devil was chasing you with a mob of zombie vampire
unicorns!  (note to self: TWO special cards. *searches for sticky glitter*)
 
P.S.S.  So I have witnesses, Melissa you still owe me a guest post.  (It's only fair, after I've inserted all these little snippets into your post. Hehehe...you are going to eat me alive, I just know it)

P.S.S.S.  If I die tomorrow without warning you know who is responsible!



****************  THANK YOU EMILY **************

Emily took some convincing, because she 'claims' to be stuck editing and isn't feeling very creative. Pfft...LIAR! Emily is an extremely talented writer and she REALLY is working on editing her novel. She does this...wait for it...between tending a homestead full of animals, some of them human. She's got kids, 3 dogs, a goat, chickens, moosengoosen, something that howls in the woods near her home...the list? I goes on! Did I mention her family runs their own business, too? Ha...I'm tired writing all this.


She went to college for mass communications, left for photography, left that for political sciences and left that for dog training. Me thinks it was serendipity, because her path is leading her toward a career in writing...even if I have to push her kicking and screaming into it.


Emily's blog is sometimes witty, sometimes profound and touching. I'm happy to call her my friend and I hope you enjoy her blog as much as I do.  Please check her out (her blog, people...minds OUT of the gutter *eye roll*)


p.s.
HA! Gotcha...I'm not doing a post script today...neener neener. 

11 comments:

  1. ALL Melissa's are barking mad - I should know! WEll done and lots of fun. I'll visit you and follow, but I shall not abandon Melissa for you. Never! We have been loyal follower-ees from the start :D

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  2. Oh - linky please to your blog - or did I miss that?

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  3. HaHa, Melissa AG my link is up there, but it's http://www.coffeeandspellcheck.com And I would NEVER try to break up two Melissa's. :) Thanks for the comment! <3

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  4. Melissa - thanks for coming by! Yes, the link is there, a couple of times. Although, it may not be obvious depending on how you are viewing my page. Darn. It should show up bold, red and should 'look' like a link. I'll make sure to make it more clear in future posts! Thanks!

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  5. And as for you This N That Melissa, I'm still trying to decide on how to respond. This might call for a whole seperate response post... *evil laugh* <3 Thanks for having me as your guest! <3

    ReplyDelete
  6. "OR what if my post is so awesome she can’t take it? What if jealousy
    eats her alive and then she sends her mob out to get me in the middle
    of the night?! After all I have heard talks that she controls an
    entire mob of zombie vampire unicorns!"

    Now, see, this has me worried too. I am supposed to guest post at some point, but this has me VERY nervous and afraid. LOL!

    A very lovely post, Emiy, you did GREAT! And I might be just a wee-bit jealous. :)

    ~Virginia

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  7. Y'all are all nuts. I love it.

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  8. Lol, Virginia don't be scared! If you think I did great I am sure you will do awesome! Thanks for your comment!!!

    And thank you too Denise!

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  9. Emily and Melissa, if I ever meet the two of you in person, no doubt I will be spurting coffee out of my nose.
    Thanks for the much needed guffaws. And goat.
    Have you ever noticed the shape of a goat's pupils? There's something going on in a goat's brain... maybe they are related to zombie unicorn vampires? I may not sleep tonight....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, I think there may be a law against her and I meeting... or maybe it's just a law about me going to her home state. Hrrrm. And YES Square pupils, freaked me out the day we first brought the goat home...

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