Friday, January 06, 2012

Yo, how about bringin' that sexy back!

Are you sexy?
Do you know it?

If you listen to pop music then you may have heard of LMFAO and their song, I'm Sexy and I know It.

Here, let me help you with this visual 
(which, may not be appropriate for little kids - or anyone with eyes).

Yup, "Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah"'s going to be with you for a looong time. I apologize, but misery loves company and if I can't erase it from my eyeballs then I'm gonna share it.

My post is inspired by this post on Blogher about flirting.

I didn't read the article because I'm interested in flirting (of course, Hubbypants probably wouldn't mind if I were a bit more flirtatious with him). I read it because I started to think about the act of being flirty and how flirtation and self esteem are so closely linked (as I see it). 

In the article she talks about smiling. While she did say that she smiled indiscriminately (at men, women, children), she does suggest that smiling can be flirting. It dawned on me then that I might be Ms. Flirty McFlirtypants.

I smile a lot. Even at home I've caught myself doing it. I may even be a habitual smiler, doing it without even knowing! I know this because I've caught people smiling back at me, for what I believed was no good reason and as I pondered this I felt my facial muscles contort into the 'concentrating look'. Yes, I WAS smiling!

Alright, we all know that I'm not flirting when I'm smiling, but I did start to wonder if I'd be able to flirt if it were necessary. I'm afraid that if I tried to flirt the person of interest would think I'm having some sort of attack and/or that I'm insane and call 911. It's rather fortunate for me and the world at large that I am happily married.

But...what if I were suddenly single?

I was cute once, I have pictures to prove it.

Even back then, though...I wasn't particularly confident. Thus the conflict with flirtation. Being able to flirt, in my opinion, means that you have a level of self esteem that allowed you to believe, even for a nanosecond, that the other person would be interested in receiving whatever flirtyness you flung at them.

And so we are back to the song lyrics:

I'm sexy and I know it.

While I don't want to credit LMFAO with creating deep and meaningful lyrics (come on, you watched the know what I mean) there is something to be said for believing, and investing in, what we tell ourselves.

We (and by we, I mean me) believe the inner critic before the inner critic even utters a word. We are that quick to inflict negativity upon ourselves. And anything positive? Forget it, we need to interrogate the motive of anything positive and treat it as suspect.

I'm sexy and I know it. 

Yup, some of you do know it. I can see it, sense give off a vibe. It's not just the super models or the rich and famous or the MILFs. Yes, I said MILF.  I have a friend who once told me that she wanted to be a MILF (if you don't know what that is, then you need to go Google it). At first I was horrified...really? That's it...that's all you think of yourself?

But now...I think I understand it a little more. There is a 'feeling' one gets when you know that you are desired by a total stranger. Me, personally, I'd like to be desired for a lot more 'F' part of MILF.  But I do get it....I understand it more. People are attracted by that vibe, which is confidence, self assured, a general good feeling about your self worth

I'm sexy and I know it. 

When I was on my morning walk I tossed around how I was going to approach this post. I kept replaying the tune in my head, but instead I sang "I'm NOT sexy and I know it."

Because that is how I see and perceive myself. It's evident by the clothes I wear, the way I interact with people. And it has nothing to do with 'sexy', it has everything to do with just plain old body image. When you (which is still me, it is my blog after all) don't feel good about yourself, you project that to the world.
I'm sexy and I know it.

When we feel defeated, dumpy, lumpy, frumpy, fat and squishy, droopy, saggy, baggy and tired.When you've gained weight. And then gained some more. And because that weight was lonely so you went and found it some more pounds to hang out with...then it's hard to imagine....

Being sexy and knowing it. 

But...maybe it's important that we do.

I realize that using 'sexy' for this post might seem superficial and perhaps it is. Many people have a whole host of other things they strive to be  and couldn't give a damn about sexy. I admit, I'm the same way.

I guess my point isn't just about being sexy, it's about the lyrics we allow to play in our heads.

 I'm **** and I know it.

 It could be anything. I'm 'smart' and I know it. I'm 'agoodwriter' and I know it. I'm 'agoodperson' and I know it.

I continually irk my husband with my (possibly over the top) self deprecating humor. I love him immensely for that, for not wanting me to constantly put myself down.

I do realize that I perpetuate my self image by doing least I think I'm starting to realize it. It's the same as singing, "I'm NOT sexy and I know it." 

It's not HELPFUL and I know it.

While you won't see me strutting around as if I'm all-that-and-a-bag-o'-chips anytime soon, I am going to stop being my own Negative Nelly and let LMFAO's lyrics accompany me.

I'm sexy and I know it.

And...I'm not going to stop smiling. If you see me on the street I guarantee I'm not flirting with you...or maybe I just might be part of my building confidence plan.  Just smile back. It's fun and it's free and then, pass it on.

I'm sexy and I know it.
I'm {going to be less critical} and I know it.
I'm {going to stop disbelieving in myself} and I know it.
I'm {going to sing along with Melissa and insert my own issue [here]} and I know it.
I believe in you and you know it.

I really was cute once.

I have witnesses. And pictures. I think I said that already. I miss you 20something...sigh....

I'll start talking more positive about myself tomorrow.

Yeah...I got nothing else to say.


  1. Anonymous3:27 PM

    You. Are. Awesome. With a heaping side of Incredible.

  2. LOL. Why, thank you. :o)

  3. A) You're still cute. I can guarantee it.

    B) I smile all the time too and have been accused of being the biggest flirt on the planet. I say, "Wait...what? No, I'm friendly!" Because I don't have the self-confidence to flirt.

    C) Good on ya for stopping the Negative Nelly talk in its tracks. Melissa, you're beautiful, smart, witty, fun, a great writer, kind, and yes, all that makes you sexy.

  4. PS Don't pffft me. You are all those things.

    PPS No, never mind, that was all I wanted to add.

  5. Jane -'d you know I "pffted"??? I swear, it's like you are in my head!

    Thank you, very much, for the kind words. I shall "pfft" more quietly. I'm just working toward a healthy attitude about myself, if sexy follows...that would be awesome.

  6. This is my number 2 theme song right now!
    "I work oouuuttt!"

  7. <3. Dino Dial-ups forbid me to see that video, so I'm just gonna resort to my confidence boosting song... Bif Naked "I love Myself Today"

    " 'Cause I'm on fire- too hot to touch.... Gonna step right up. Spit shine my soul. I'm gonna be proud and loud and outta control! I love myself today, not like yesterday, I'm cool, I'm calm, I'm gonna be okay!...."