Thursday, January 05, 2012

Give me a home, where my imagination roams...

I hate that the package man (a.k.a UPS, FED-X, etc) drives by my house. I hate even more when  he/she stops on my street, steps from my own doorway...only to deliver a package to someone else.

I want him to stop here (him, because that is all I have in my hood...him drivers).

I want packages and presents and cards and letters. Daily.

I want a pair of roller skates. Fancy ones. 

I want to wear a tutu when I go to the grocery store and a princess tiara.

Or a fireman outfit, complete with plastic ax.  Or, a ninja. With an ax. And a tutu, but black...of course. I'll leave the bling at home, because ninjas don't bling...they need to be stealth-like. 

I want to buy all the office supplies that my little heart desires and fill up an entire wall of Post-It notes that utter nothing but words of encouragement and love. And binders, folders, colored tabs and tape, and stamps...I want to stamp things and hear *ka-thunk*...and then highlight it in every color.

I want to push the little shopping cart meant for kids.

I want a bell and tall red flag for my bike and a playing card in the spokes. I want to fly down the road with my bike singing, "rat-a-tat-tat".

I want to wear glitter eyeliner every day.

And wear a miniskirt when I'm 70.

I want to lay on the beach and completely cover myself in sand.

I want to take a bubble bath that completely obscures many bubbles that you'd think I slipped down the drain.

I want ruby red slippers, without having a house fall on me to get them.

I want to wear a ball gown that is frothy and sparkly and glimmery.

I want to play Hot Lava on the new play structure at the park. And then have it transform into a Peter Pan flying pirate ship destined for Alpha Centauri!

I want to gather all the blankets and pillows in the house and create the biggest fort ever imagined - with popcorn and hot cocoa.

I DON'T want to fold up all those blankets or vacuum up the popcorn.

I want to be a princess, that kicks ass...that fights her battles on roller skates, with a poking stick in one hand and a cast iron skillet in the other - because both of them will leave SUCH a mark - in a tulle skirt with a satin embroidered bodice...and tiara. A modern version of the new Snow White and the Huntsman....but without the huntsman, 'cause I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. Plus, I doubt that a huntsman would appreciate having to wear roller skates and a tiara into battle. If he only knew that REAL men don't mind being bedazzled.

"Why," you ask, "did you create such a list?" how I'll answer.

Because...someone will read it and it will make them happy.

Because...then they'll start imagining their own list. imagination is a terrible thing to keep locked up in side ones brain.




  1. I bow to the queen of awesomeness. (and can I join in too?)

  2. If you wear the tutu and the tiara, please make sure someone takes a picture. I love your list, it reminds me of the "when I am old I will wear purple with a red hat" poem - except your list is better.

  3. I have a secret - I have a tiara and wear it on really bad days ;)

  4. Emily - why, thank you! And yes, let's play!

    Melissa - I know, right? That would be SUCH a sight. But oh so much fun!

    VV - an excellent idea!

  5. Anonymous6:18 PM

    Your brain is one of my favorite things!

    A. for you-know-who

  6. Can I be your bad ass crime fighting partner?? ;)

  7. A - Aww...shucks. :-)

    Jenn - Of course!

  8. Anonymous11:27 PM

    I don't know why, Melissa, but "I want to wear a tutu when I go to the grocery store and a princess tiara," was my favorite. I think that secretly I, too, want to dare to wear something for people to talk about. I'd like to be someone else just for one day. Just one day! :)


  9. I love you Melissa! You always make me laugh and think.
    BTW, did you know I make tutu's??
    Lemme know if you want one.

  10. It made me happy =) Thank you, sweet lady! Also? Pushing the little carts in the grocery store does automatically make your day all better. Especially when grown-ups get that puzzled smile because they don't see any children around =D

  11. Virginia - wouldn't it be so much fun!! Laine can make you one. >;-)

    Laine - When I lose about 100 pounds, I'll hit you up! You might want to get crackin' on your own though, because it would go great with derby gear.

    Desi - I just love those little carts! Only the small, independent grocers here have them.

  12. This did make me happy. It makes me want to go buy crayons and a big chief pad.

  13. Melissa! I've been thinking about a tutu and fish nets. Whooo!