My life has been full of very nearly. As has every one, I imagine.
In recent years I was approached by a professor to work on a special project, one that would require writing about art and then submitting for publication. This professor had selected two students that she said, "I really want to work with". You can, no doubt, imagine my excitement and trepidation - because there is my whole issue with confidence.
But she had selected me. As in M and E.
And then that was it. Project fizzled without even being inflated.
Was it me? Or, was it as she said, just not good timing - she was just too busy?
You'll say the latter. But, what if it was the former? What if she re-thunk it? Which, can you blame her - I did just use "re-thunk" after all...perhaps she had a premonition of my proclivity to make up words?
But I'm over it. I've moved on. I only brought it up as an example.
Fast forward to now, or a few weeks ago from now (OK, maybe it was structuring sentences like this one that put the professor off?) and I'm approached by someone to syndicate a previous post of mine.
So, Melissa dredges up the old excitement again and thinks, "Maybe? This time? You think?" As is typical, I was sure this person had mistaken my post for something written by someone else. But...she DID reference my title, so...*maybe* this was real?
And then there is an exchange of emails and tweaking of things on the site to allow me to submit the post - the reality of real-ness sets in.
And so I'm left to wonder: Did she have a sudden stroke of reality and decide it was NOT the post she thought? Was it poo-poo'd by others? Or, am I on the "To-Contact" list of a very busy person who will eventually contact me and I need to not be such a worry-wart pest? I'm fine with the latter, because that is life in the working world and priorities need to be set (and I can be a bit of a pest...I just see it as being, um, persistent).
What if it isn't the later? What if it was the former? Again...
And so, I am tucking these experiences away and sending them off to live in the land of Almost to (hopefully) eventually fade from memory (and with my memory, that should be blissfully soon).
What "Almost" do you carry with you?
Have you all but made peace with it?
Or, have you really made peace?
This post was written yesterday and scheduled
to publish early this morning. I had to RUSH in
and stop it because:
SHE EMAILED ME!
She still wants to schedule my post
To be seen by people.
Living, breathing...ALIVE people
And so, it would seem,I'm ALMOST there....