Many of us, at one time or another, may have uttered the words:
"I need to find myself."
Spoken in an effort to figure out who we are, where we need to go in life and what we are destined to do once we get there.
As I've grappled with my own discovery of self over a number of years, I find the whole phrase "finding myself" to be hogwash.
The phrase suggests (at least to me and possibly ONLY to me) that we've been predestined for something and that my "Who" and "What" are in the hands of someone else - as in, out of my control.
I'm not a believer in Fate or Destiny, although I have been known to use the words a time or twelve. But, I don't really buy into the concept.
If life were about 'finding self', then all we need to do is embark on a little road trip to hunt down that Other Self, maybe even with some rope and duct tape (scratch that - different road trip). The possibilities are endless, what if that Other Self is already a doctor, lawyer, teacher, writer, magician, chef, dinosaur wrangler (please see my brand new "Who Me?" page for further explanation)?
Finding self would imply discovering a complete package. It means 'finding' what you are good at and then going for it! Who hasn't taken one of those Myers-Briggs personality tests? See what I mean, now?
But, what if what you are good at isn't the Other Self you were hoping it would be? What if your Other Self really aspires to something it will likely be mediocre at, or - possibly - terrible at? Like being a writer and using poor grammar and ending sentences with prepositions and too many 'ands'.
Maybe you've always had the Other Self inside, leaving hints and a bread trail toward who you want to be. I'm not one of those people, or...my inner self was using cookies instead of bread and then just ate them all instead.
What you may need to do is stop searching and start creating, as an artist would create a masterpiece- only that masterpiece is the Other You. An artist creates, contemplates, changes and tweaks and then often starts the whole process over - re-creating. And if you lean toward the geekier side, then create a version 2.0 of yourself.
Finally, all of this logic only applies to you. Not me. My desire to not have to actually do something to achieve something is far too powerful to fight. My destiny will be to travel in search of my Other Self, while astride my adorable Gypsy wagon - but not a horse drawn one, because I want my future to smell rosy and less like a horses behind.
What do you think?
Want to create the 'self' that you want to be?
Or, will you join me and hunt down our Other Selves,
hog tie them and make them reveal our true calling?
I wrote this from the perspective of picking a side, 'creating yourself'. But the more I think about it, it's likely that 'finding' and 'creating' are really the same damn thing.
I don't care, because the post is already written and I'm not re-writing.
There is also a chance it makes little sense. But you've grown to expect that, right?
Anyone want to lend me their credit card to go shopping with? Or, I'm happy to accept cash. Tomorrow IS my birthday...after all...