Friday, September 23, 2011

Career shift?

I'm starting to suspect that I will not be striking it rich with this blogging thing.

For reasons unknown, my blog hasn't gone viral.

Can't imagine why.

It's probably because everyone is all up in arms over the Facebook changes.

Once that dies down, I'm sure I'll skyrocket to fame on Bloggers legendary, "Blogs of Note" page.

The world will know my name...any day now.

Until then, a smart gal like me always likes to be prepared, as you know from a previous post.
Especially since it looks like these Facebook changes could go on indefinitely.

So, I think writing porn is the way to go.

I mean, how hard can it be?

Writing out grunting noises is easy, "Uh-uh-uh" and it's a cinch to copy/paste "Oh yea, baby - that's right!" over and over and over. They play it in a loop during movies anyway.

Or so I've heard.

I also have a very vivid imagination for stuff I wouldn't/couldn't acrobatics that you never knew the human body was capable of.

Which, it probably isn't. But I'm the writer, not the actor...what do I care.

There HAS to be money in it...oodles probably.

Producers will fight each other to hire me, throwing money at me, for my revolutionary "wordless" scripts (except for those noises [copy/paste/repeat] - which anyone can do - no acting ability required). Plus, writing dialog sucks and it's not like there are currently any Oscar quality productions out there.

Or so I've heard.

Think of the money they'll save. I could revolutionize the industry!

I'll be RICH!!!

Just don't tell my Hubbypants about this. He'll say we need to act out the scenes to make sure they are convincing or some such nonsense. Since when have 'porn' and 'convincing' EVER been sentence mates?

Or so I would imagine. I wouldn't know.

Besides, my imagination is more bendy than I am.

I'll have to look into this new idea. I wonder if I could just call information for the San Fernando valley and have them hook me up with a producer. What do I ask for? "Uh, hello...I'd like the number for the highest earning porn production company please?" EVERYONE in the valley probably knows who that is, right...since it is the mecca for that industry.

Or so I've heard...from a T.V. show or something.

Yea...this could be the ticket to my transatlantic cruise. I'll be rolling in the dough!

I'll keep you posted on the release date of the movie. It will be big news. You'll have to tell me what you think, since I don't watch that kind of stuff.



  1. Hahahahaha! Having never, erm, actually *ahem* seen a porn film I have no idea what you're talking about. (Of course.) But I'm sure it's *snicker* a growth industry.... Great post!

  2. It's been inching along for years...Huge potential there!

  3. Anonymous8:03 PM

    Ummm...what's that porn thing you speak of? Never heard of such a thing. ;)