I'm not supposed to like him this much.
I mean, really....
I've been married to this man for 21 years.
The movies tell me that being married for a long period of time just leads to animosity.
I get that.
People change and become more quirky with age.
Except, when you are my Hubbypants.
He has the freakin' nerve to improve with age.
Like, he's Scotch or something.
Fucker. He's not following the unwritten rules!
After 23ish years together shouldn't I be bitchin' about how much he ignores my needs?
Shouldn't I be lamenting the time he wants to spend apart?
Or, should I be trying to shoo him out of the house and away from my business?
Shouldn't I be bitching about how uninterested he is in my being nekkid?
I told him I wanted to get a Tablet for my trip to BlogHer'13...and for our anniversary he gives me a Nexus 7. I needed business cards for BlogHer'13, and after much lamenting, he does them for me.
needed a fan for my office, because it's been a tad warm, and Hubbypants shows up, out of the blue, with a fan.
He also wants to make sure my breast health is optimum, and thus feels he should check them....daily.
He wants to go places with me. He wants to hike with me. He even wants me to go to Happy Hour with him!
Clearly, something is wrong with him if he wants to spend that much time with his WIFE! Did I mention we've been married 21 years?
What's wrong with him?
But, more importantly...what the hell is the matter with me?
Shouldn't I be less interested in getting nekkid with him? Or, even partially nekkid? Shouldn't I be uninterested in spending MORE time with him while hiking? Or running errands together?
I like his company, I just do.
I think he's an alien. He can't be human, because who does that? Who loves the person they committed to over 21 years ago? Who loves the person (the whole package) they committed to over two decades ago? Despite the changes - some good, some not so good.
Is that even fair?
I told him, Hubbypants, tonight that I was surprised that after so many years, I still liked him. I was surprised because television told me it was unusual. I was surprised because experience, other than a few select situations, told me that long term love was more akin to Bigfoot than reality. I had been led to believe that loving someone so much and for so long was fiction.
It isn't, by the way.
If you were to corner me and ask me to commit, then yes...I'd tell you this is the love of my life. Because, right now I believe this to be true. Right now I want this to be my forever and my always. I don't want to imagine rolling over at night and having anyone else touching my skin and kissing my lips like Hubbypants does now. I can't imagine anyone else running errands with me or traveling with me or sitting on the stool next to me during happy hour.
This person is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Whatever life throws at me, I will carry this love I feel for him into my future.
Is this what is supposed to happen? Am I supposed to love him this much?
I don't know. I don't care.
I just do.