Holy guacamole, have you ever noticed how heavy it is? It's like dragging around a football field full of boulders that seem to yell, "You'll just suck, so don't even try!" Well, if boulders could talk, they might say that.
Expressing that doubt, letting it slip from your mouth, will only net comments such as, "Believe in yourself!" and "You can do it!"
Whatever "it" is, believing in oneself is infinitely harder than simply adopting a positive attitude.
Believing in oneself requires affirmation that you're doing [insert whatever you're doing here] in such a fabulously wonderful way as to incite people to swoon and fawn over you.
Not really, but boy...wouldn't that be sweet!
Seriously though, suffers of self doubt need to know they are doing it right and that there will be a receptive audience. It's really a slippery slope, because while these people (you and me) crave affirmation, they (we) are extremely adept at deflecting it by assuming any kudos are superficial and said for the sake of being nice. This is especially true of compliments from family. Admit it, you've gotten one (or several) and have chalked it up to the giver being supportive because they have to or they love you and don't want to hurt your feelings.
You see yourself in that statement above, don't you. (it isn't a question - see, no question mark thingy).
And so, you enable your Doubt Monster to grow bigger.
This is a beast of your own making. My own making. Our own making. You can argue that putting yourself out there and being shot down has created your self doubt and that the monster isn't your design.
But you're wrong.
I believe we can become addicted to self doubt. When we profess our failings, family and friends (our audience, in some cases) rally to lift us up. Claiming ourselves unworthy then feeding off the praise can become an intoxicating cycle - because it is all praise, no failure. When you come up for air, you've found that nothing is accomplished, you're in the same spot and you start the process all over again. Because, despite the praise....you still doubt.
Seriously, stop the insanity.
Don't give the Doubt Monster any more real estate in your brain than it deserves. Doubt is a healthy instinct, you need it - for example, when in hot humid Florida and you find yourself near a murky swimming hole and you think, "OH...I'll just take a quick dip...'cause I'm so HOT!!" Then in creeps Healthy Doubt with, "Don't you think there could be an alligator in that muck?" See...you just doubted the safety of the pond, thus saving yourself from being some prehistoric creatures lunch. THAT is Healthy Doubt.
The other shit? It has to go.
Right here, right now - if you see yourself in this post - then you are going to stop the self hatin' and start believing in yourself.
No, no, no, no...you are not going to mutter under your breath, "Pfft...easier said than done." Because it IS just as easy done as said. You just do it. You cut off the conversations in your head that try to reason why you shouldn't take a risk (we all know I'm not talking sky diving or betting your life savings on a horse race). I'm talking the risk of believing you do something well and are worthy of the praise ALREADY being heaped up on you by people who probably know better than you. Besides, not accepting their belief in you is a kind of insulting, don't ya think?
Enough with the addictive cycle of seeking out affirmation that you are good enough, just start being good enough. Or not. At least then you'll know and won't wait until you're drawing your last breath to wonder, "What if just tried?"
Don't roll your eyes at me! I'll come over there and give you SUCH a peench.
What have you got to lose? This is a truly legit question. You need, MUST, stop and ask it of yourself right now.
"What have I got to lose?"
Remember, the only one feeding the Doubt Monster is you. It is your beast of burden, yours to tame and control. You can either keep feeding yourself to it or you can put it back in its proper place - which is being watchful of murky water and unseen things with big teeth.
This post was written for you, because you need to be reminded of your self worth. But we really know that I'm pep talking myself, right? I'm just hoping you'll join me, because my back is starting to hurt from lugging around all those foul mouthed, whiny boulders.
So, how about it?