Monday, February 27, 2012

The Nefarious Aliens - Or - Why Melissa Hasn't Been Blogging

It is entirely possible that I've fallen off the planet into some other dimension, the whereabouts of which remain a mystery.

Well, maybe not 'fallen off', but rather abducted off the planet by aliens.

A rogue band of geriatric aliens - to be specific - who have a desperate nefarious plan to use me as a guinea pig to test an age reversal serum they are working on that will make them forever young and invincible so that they can carry out their nefarious plan to take over the Universe and Planet Earth.

It's all very evil and nefarious

There is a teensy bit of a chance that I've made this all up as an excuse for neglecting my blog for days and days and that I have nothing else to write about.

And maybe because I really wanted to use the word nefarious....a lot.  

But do you really want to take that risk?

Probably not, so send in the mercenaries to rescue me.

Wherever I am.

When you send in the troops, can you make sure they are hotties?

Better yet, just Kyle Urban and that guy from Transformers, Josh Duhamel....and...Oh yeah...The Rock (Duane Johnson) - they've all played guys that rescue people in the movies, I know they could save me.

It's o.k. if they forget their shirts. It could be really hot wherever the aliens are keeping me hostage.


Have them bring wine, too.  Thanks bunches.

I'm also accepting advance orders for the age reversal stuff, which I'm sure my rescue team will wrestle (shirtless) away from the aliens and which will somehow find its way into my hands. Don't worry, I'll record it for y'all.

Sorry, cash only. 

And THIS is why I haven't been writing.  What? It could happen!


  1. Several hotties coming your way with a bottle of champagne to the rescue! I'll place an order for anything that erases frown lines as long as it isn't painful ;)

  2. Anonymous6:27 PM

    I've so missed your posts! The word nefarious was made for you. My word is nomenclature -- Every line of muscle was defined as his bulging biceps flexed when he grasped me from the arms of the terrifying aliens -- a nefarious nomenclature :-) Welcome back!

  3. Sending the hottie troops! ;)

  4. I'm sending the wine!

  5. I'm coming with the hotties and I'm sorry if I drink all the wine! :)

  6. Those sound like the same damn aliens that had me last week. Duane was verrryyyy helpful when he rescued me. He'll be right over-- he's coming straight from the pool in his mankini. Hope you don't mind.

  7. You too!?!?!? Yes, it makes sense that you might be in the cell next to mine... Age-reversal stuff huh? I thought maybe I was being held in an attempt to deny the world the joy of reading my whimsical blog posts. (shrugging)
    psst... after Josh Duhamel resuces you, could you pretty pretty pease send him to break me out also?