It is entirely possible that I've fallen off the planet into some other dimension, the whereabouts of which remain a mystery.
Well, maybe not 'fallen off', but rather abducted off the planet by aliens.
A rogue band of geriatric aliens - to be specific - who have a desperate nefarious plan to use me as a guinea pig to test an age reversal serum they are working on that will make them forever young and invincible so that they can carry out their nefarious plan to take over the Universe and Planet Earth.
It's all very evil and nefarious.
There is a teensy bit of a chance that I've made this all up as an excuse for neglecting my blog for days and days and that I have nothing else to write about.
And maybe because I really wanted to use the word nefarious....a lot.
But do you really want to take that risk?
Probably not, so send in the mercenaries to rescue me.
Wherever I am.
When you send in the troops, can you make sure they are hotties?
Better yet, just Kyle Urban and that guy from Transformers, Josh Duhamel....and...Oh yeah...The Rock (Duane Johnson) - they've all played guys that rescue people in the movies, I know they could save me.
It's o.k. if they forget their shirts. It could be really hot wherever the aliens are keeping me hostage.
Have them bring wine, too. Thanks bunches.
I'm also accepting advance orders for the age reversal stuff, which I'm sure my rescue team will wrestle (shirtless) away from the aliens and which will somehow find its way into my hands. Don't worry, I'll record it for y'all.
Sorry, cash only.
And THIS is why I haven't been writing. What? It could happen!