Friday, January 27, 2012

Things for My Bucket

My bucket list is so long that I either need LOTS of buckets or about a bazillion regular industrial size buckets.

I'm eternally finding something to add to my list of stuff I need to do before I'm ready to spare humanity and move on to annoy peeps in the afterlife. If there is one. I hope so, because I bet not existing would get really B.O.R.I.N.G!!!

Luckily for YOU, Dear Reader, I'm only going to list a few of them here. Just a few, to give you an idea of what I hope will be in store for me in the coming days/months/years...or in my next life, if I don't get around to it now.

*Singing Lessons*
I want them. I have a decent voice. Not great...actually, not even 'good', but NOT terrible. I've always wanted to learn to breathe right and sing with confidence, knowing that I'm not making the ears of those in close proximity bleed.

*Archery Lessons*
I want my own bow & arrows. I want to shoot stuff. With arrows. I want to hear the bow string **twack**.  If my son doesn't start using his bow more often, I'm stealing his...along with his BRAND. NEW. ARROWS. THAT. WE. SPENT. $150. BUCKS. AS. IN. DOLLARS. ON. 'Cause I want to shoot stuff. With arrows.
*Gun Range Shooting*
Oh, don't even look at me like that. I'm a tree hugging, animal rights, don't want to hunt, strict gun control, kind of person. BUT DAMN...shooting is FUN! I haven't been shooting in YEARS! The last time was with an ex-ihopeheiswrithinginpainsomewhere boyfriend who had a big bad mofo of a shotgun that 'bout knocked me on my ass and left me with ginormous bruises on my shoulder. Oh, but what fun! I would own a handgun. Yes, I said it. So there. I just think weapons are interesting. Destructive and bad, yes...but also cool. What can I say, I grew up watching Rambo & Ah'nold inflicting massive amounts of death upon bad guys. While I can't stand really violent movies anymore, I DO like *powpow* stuff. I might be a man and don't know it yet.

*Community Involvement*
Do something to give back. SOMETHING. Step one: explore volunteer options in my community. I've volunteered for LOTS of stuff - hard stuff - and now I'm looking for something regular (to get me out of the house) and easy (so that I don't go into crazymakingmode and wig out).

*Write a Pornographic Story and Submit It*
I bet you just said, "WTF?"  You did, didn't ya? Hehehe...oh, come on! Wouldn't that be so much fun? O.k. if not something pornographic, then maybe just write something and submit it somewhere. Maybe.

I'm stopping at five, because it is a nice even number. O.k. 5 is an ODD number, but so am I. However, the *word* F.I.V.E. has 4, it's sort of even. There ya go.

As I said, my list is so much longer...with easy and hard and intimidating things. This is a sampling of what goes on in my head.

What's on your list?


  1. My husband gave me a gift certificate to the shooting range last year and I loved it! Who knew shooting off guns could be so fun? I think you should go this week!

  2. I would be happy to be your editor on the porn piece. lol

  3. Our local range has ladies night once a week. I haven't shot a gun in years, but I think I'm going to take my 82 year old mom & go. I am a total hypocrite about guns-- I am against them except for me and a few other people who get a "pass" from me. Plus I've been reading Stephanie Plum where all the grannies in Trenton have guns.

    Denise and I may have to arm wrestle over editing your ah... XXX piece. Or you may permit us both to help "whip it" into shape?

    With your interest in guns and bows/arrows, y'all need to consider a move South. :)

  4. VV - We've got a range near us, plus a couple of archery ranges...I'm all set. Now, just to get off my arse and DO it!

    Denise/Melanie - Y'all (see, I'm practicing my Southern drawl) are welcome to read my dirty mind! One day I SWEAR I'll write my stories...which, while erotic...might not be all We've all got a dark side. >;-}

  5. Guns terrify me. Which is precisely why I want to learn how to shoot. Lex has a gun (he's former military which I think is a hoot) and, after we'd lived together 3 years, I finally let him tell me where he kept it.

    There isn't a thing on this list you can't start doing right away. it already! Sheesh! :)

  6. Jane - I need to learn how to use them in the event of an invasion, or zombies...or if I become a zombie, I need to defend myself against necrophiliacs (see my Facebook page).

    As for the list: Unfortunately, lessons for any of that take money that I don't have. But that isn't an insurmountable obstacle. I can put money aside and do them...and I will. Dammit. I will.

  7. I love this list!! And yes, I think you should write *something* and submit it. Just sayin'

  8. you crack me up! i haven't shot since i was in the army that was ummm 32 years ago. i really liked archery too when i was a kid. great things you can do before you even need to think of a bucket list!

    how about stick people illustrated porn?

  9. Melanie here! I enjoyed this piece, please email me--I have a question about your blog. MelanieLBowen[at]gmail[dot]com