Tuesday, November 29, 2011

They're Here! But maybe not.

The last two mornings have slithered in carrying cold, wet, sun obscuring fog on its back. An ordinary observer would just think this is 'weather', but I fear something more sinister.

I recently finished the 2nd book in _The Strain_ trilogy, wherein a Vampire "Master" creates a race of Vamps to take over the planet a la Hitler Nazi style - complete with "camps" for the "cattle" (and I don't mean beef). In order to propagate their existence, the sun needs to get with the program and stop making regular appearances...or, at least, shorten its visits. So, the vampire minions go forth and blow stuff up (nuclear plants & such) to cause a filter of sorts to spread across the globe - viola, instant vampire sunscreen.

I dare say that you too would be mildly alarmed to wake, two days in a row, to perfect Vampire frolicking weather. Those bastards could be out there, just beyond the shadow-line of fog, waiting for the word from "Master" to round up them thar humans and stockpile us for winter!

I know, I know...I've written about Zombies in the past and I am not ruling them out. For all I know they are in cahoots and will take up the slack and round up the humans that the swifter moving Vamps missed. I imagine no self respecting Vamp would waste their talents on the geriatric walker strutting crowd, best to leave that chase to the Zombies. It's probably even entertaining for the Vamps, watching the sloth like Zombies gain on the old folks shuffling along like a heard of turtles.

I've come to peace with the possibility this could be my last day at a human, but I'm not going without a fight. Last night I filled up my gas tank and this morning I'm jacking myself up on caffeine and Lucky Charms - because they're lucky, right? All those damn horseshoes and rainbows and shit ought to bring me some good fortune. And if you think about it, who the hell wants healthy oatmeal or fruit for their last meal?

I'm also planning on drinking the last of the Egg Nog WITH. WHIPPED. CREAM. In a non Vamp/Zombie infested scenario, that sort of decadence borders on a sexual experience. But in this case, I figure I'll need the calories to fend off the first wave of attack.

My advice to y'all is to start limbering up, you don't want to get a cramp right in the mild of the melee.

Every battle scene needs musical accompaniment and I choose Axel.

What about you? 
How will you prepare for the end of the world? 
What song will lead you into the frey?

If you don't hear from me tomorrow, the last day of the November NaBloPoMo, then you know they got me. Remember me...avenge me!

Peace & Kick some Vambie ass!

No, this is NOT a ploy to get out of having to post on the last day of NaBloPoMo

Ugh oh...I think they're here!!

Never mind, it was just the cats.

Wouldn't Vambie make a great name for an evil porn star?  Or, if Disney remakes Bambie to fit the current Vampire craze...because then when Bambi's mom gets shot, she comes back as the living dead! Wouldn't that be awesome and heart warming! (it wasn't a question, the answer is yes)



  1. *snort*
    I'm going now to make fresh coffee and top it with whipped cream. I am that inspired.
    And funny that you ask my vamp theme music, 'cause you know a writer of vamp stuff has to have a vast collection of such music. To narrow it down I see tunes from Bif Naked and Scorpions playing in the background of muh epic scenes.
    And now I've forgotten what else I was going to say an my fingers are cramping...

  2. Did the dark chocolate mint Milky Way bar I just snarfed count as fortification?

    Also? You'd better get your entry for tomorrow done now and set to auto-post...just in case cuz you won't be let off the hook even if you're vamped or zambied.

  3. Just Jane beat me to it, I was gonna say schedule that post ;)

  4. LOL! At Jenn and Casey :)

  5. I love the idea of Vambie and Alienbody needs to write the screenplay!
    Song for the end of the world as you described it... "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple.
    What is it about Vamps? I can't seem to get enough. Have you read Undead and Unwed?

  6. There is quite a lot of coffee in my house. And chocolate striped shortbread cookies. And Fruit Loops.... If the vampires are coming I will have to eat them all immediately so that if/when they drink my blood they are immediately sent into a sugar-induced coma and drop dead where they are. Really, I must gorge myself right now for the good of humanity!

    Also? We need someone to play "It's the End of the World as We Know It" on acoustic guitar as the vampires make their stealthy approach. We should go out in style :)

  7. Melissa, this made me LOL! And I like your choice in music.

  8. LOL...you guys are the best! I love these comments AND the music!