Friday, November 18, 2011

She's Famous For...

I'm pretty sure that I am on the verge of being famous.

Or infamous.

It is contingent upon what type of super powers I'll be getting (ahem - any day now would be nice).

For instance, super strength with the ability to fly would mean I could swoop down and save a pedestrian who's in the path of a texting-while-driving asshat.

Disaster avoided. Kudos given - maybe even gifted a Starbucks card or something by the grateful almost victim.

But what if my power is invisibility? Sure, I could probably help out the DEA by sneaking into meth labs and freak out the tweakers by pretending to be a ghost or something.

But those people probably have guns and unless I have some nifty super suit or bullet repellent skin, well...that could be dangerous. Saving people is one thing, but being in the line of fire is a whole 'nuther pile o'pewp.

Oh, but HEEEEYYYY...they could give ME a gun (we can all guess how well THAT would go). I should probably have one for the impeding Zombie Apocalypse anyway. But the gun will need to be invisible as well, because the bad guys would see this floating gun and start showering the possessed weapon with bullets and...then I'm back where I started...or, actually, I'm probably D.E.D.dead. Then what happens if I set down my invisible gun? I might not be able to find it again....unless I had one of those remote control thingies that go beep-beep, like you do for your car when you've forgotten where you parked.

Damn, this super hero stuff is getting complicated.

Or, I could just be a villain. It sort of sounds easier, ya know? And a villain with the power of invisibility?

I could spook nekkid people! O.M.G!!!

I'd probably hang out, invisible-like, in the locker rooms of fitness clubs doing things that only the invisible can do {insert your own naughty ideas here}. I'd cause such a ruckus that nekkid folk would stampede into the lobby of the gym.

I sort of feel bad for thinking about how much fun that would be. {sort of, but not really - the feeling bad part}

The downside is all the floppy bits. Not entirely sure I'd like to see them, en mass, jumping and jiggling to escape the unseen terror that is me. Nekkid has its dark side and it's droopy (shudder).

Have you ever looked back upon something you wrote and wondered, "Do normal people write stuff like that? Is there someone else living in my brain and WTF are they smokin'?"

You don't?

Oh...o.k....never mind then.

I've sort of forgotten where I was going with this.

Oh, famous...right. I should spend a bit of time deciding what I will be famous for if my powers fail to materialize.

I'm taking recommendations. Please keep in mind that I don't like getting dirty, or sticky, or manual labor, or much that would involve leaving my computer chair.

So, yeah...taking recommendations for my new infamous (or famous, if you you want to play it safe and be a boring old stick in the muck that never gets to scare nekkid people - or maybe semi nekkid, to spare us the wrinkly floppy stuff) career.



  1. I don't think I could handle the floppy bits. And by "handle" I mean "look at" not you know, handle.... I have enough of my own floppy bits to.... I'll just stop now.
    Maybe that would be your superpower? Invincible to Floppy Bits might not be as cool as say, being able to fly, but think of all the nekkid people you could frighten that way!

  2. Can I choose both? After all every good plot needs a hero gone bad, gone good again (or vice versa). As for super powers I'd go with the ability to, eh... walk through walls, no, um... teleport! That's what I would choose.

  3. Definitely what Emily said, I'd love to be able to teleport. Then I could go to Philly and Lancaster whenever I'm missing my family! I would never want to have xray vision either. Most people I don't want to see nekkid.