Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Words on Wednesday - a.k.a I Got Nutin'

That sound you hear...that's hold music.

Kaiser and I are playing tag. I just love tag, my most favorite-est game EVAH! The best part is how Kaiser calls me and gets my msg machine immediately (because they have a knack for knowing when I cannot reach the phone in time)...no waiting! But, when I call them I get into the wicked awesome hold queue. I really feel bad for them, because clearly they got the short end of the draw on this game - they have no idea the fun they are missing. Yup, they get my recorder and I get 10 minutes of hold time where I learn about the flu vaccine schedule, eating healthy and watching my blood pressure (ironic, don't ya think...blood pressure & hold times). What do they get out of this game? They have to wait for ME to call THEM back. I'm sure it's torture for them. Well, neener-neener!

Kaiser has had their fill of me lately. I'm sure my file has "hypochondriac' stamped all over it along with "whiner" & "blah blah blah" that my doctor(s) doodled in the corner as I'm describing my latest ailment.

Maybe I am hyper-sensitive to new glitches in my health.

I don't care. I'm going to keep pursuing this, despite people saying, "Well...you know...it could just be arthritis."

Why, yes..yes it could! Now, why didn't I think of that? Silly me, who needs a doctor! That swelling that is getting worse, pfft...it will go away at some point, right? I'm sure that it is absolutely normal for it to be spreading to more fingers and the swelling getting more pronounced??...eh...no problemo. Why bother checking it out to make sure it isn't something else that could turn into a chronic pain in my ass...I mean hands.

OR...having every little thing brushed off as a side effect of being thyroid-less or just getting older. Because NOTHING else could possibly be wrong. Right?

Also, this 'getting old' thing should only be reserved for bad people. I'd be happy to offer my services in determining who they are...I've already got a list started.

Science needs to invent (among many other things like self cleaning toilets) a vaccine that is only given to kind souls such as myself, of which said vaccine will not allow us to suffer the annoyances that accompany this vile thing our bodies do - a.k.a. aging.

While living until I'm perfectly ready and willing not to anymore is on the tippy top of my priority list, I am not as delusional as you think I am and do know that we all age and our time comes whenever it comes, regardless of what we've got scheduled on the calendar. Oy...don't even get me started on how inconvenient that is.

So, I realize I'm getting older. I realize the body breaks down and gets all wonky and refuses to cooperate...but I don't HAVE to like.

And finally, while my fingers are still willing to rant, my wrist and arms are busy forming a rebellion and so I must stop.

It would be really, really frustrating for me to get totally into this blogging thing only to be derailed by nerves and muscles that have other ideas. That would bum me out.

Rant over.


1 comment:

  1. Dude. I have carpal tunnel in my wrists, osteoarthritis in my knees and hands, and a generally unpleasant disposition when it's raining. Also, I have three grey hairs. Am I aging? Hell no! Or at least, not gracefully... :)