Sunday, November 18, 2007

Destination Unknown

Is this the "It" you've always imagined?
The "Where" you've always dreamed you'd be by now? Or, are you in that state of limbo, floating in a sea of "somedays"? How is it that some people have lived so much in one lifetime and others die wondering why their tomorrow, their someday, never came?

I think this line of thinking has less to do with my being deep and more to do with my pending 39th birthday. It's not the big 40, I realize that. But it's made me wonder what happened to the girl who wanted to follow in the footsteps of Indiana Jones. The girl who loved going to the La Brea Tar Pits more than the mall. Where is the young woman who left home at 16, because she was tired of being more of an adult than her parents? Or, the woman who went from job to job, gaining respect and larger paychecks? How did she get from that, to reining over a household and two children, collecting kisses and hugs instead of bonus checks?

I don't want to change what is. But, I cannot claim that at this point I'm regret free. No matter what I accomplish from this point forward won't change that. I carry my regrets with me, like the lines on my face. They have made me who I am and will define where I go. And where will I go, now that I'm staring down 40 and have not invented a cure for cancer, taken a walk in space or discovered a new species of dinosaur? I don't know. And, funny as that sounds....I'm o.k. with that...finally, I'm o.k. with just being in the here and the now.

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean, but do you ever think that maybe those people that did find the new dinosaur are wondering why they never took time out to find love? To have kids? To volunteer for their local schools?