Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Setting Goals - Eventually.

This January thing keeps happening.

I'm happy it does, don't get me wrong, because it means I'm still alive and kicking to ring in a new year.

Along with the beginning of a new year comes the formation of goals or resolutions or whatever word choice you'd like to use to label your intentions. For me? I just use resolutions, because they are what they are...intentions to fulfil a goal of some sort. Calling them something else is just a creative use of a thesaurus.

I have a small framed cork board I was thinking of using as a "vision board". I've seen examples of them via friends on Facebook and it is a rather intriguing concept. While I may have a wonderfully overactive imagination, I am also very 'visual' and like to see my goals/ideas/whatever as a daily reminder of what to achieve.

I've yet to do anything with it...here in the 3rd week of January. I'm slow and lazy contemplative about what I'd like to include.

To cut myself some slack, it has also been a hard beginning to the new year. My daughter is struggling with anxiety centered around school, specifically being on campus. Yeah, yeah...I know, all teenagers hate school. This is different. I won't bore you with the details, but I'm working with the district on alternative eduction options for her. I never really thought I'd be that parent, because we all want to think that our kids can just tow the line, be a cog in the machine and deal with it like we did. We (some of us, not all) suffered, so should they...right? It will help them grow up to be better a better person...yada..yada...yada..because we are all exactly the same...yada...yada...yada.

This has weighed heavy on me, but having my daughter home with me while we work on finding a solution has been good. She's talking to me, she's in high spirits, she's willing to work on herself and create goals. Every day isn't going to be good, she's still a 14 year old sassypants with a wicked temper (she takes after one of her parents, not saying which one). But let's be real, how many angst ridden teenage girls do you know who WANT to be attached to their mom's hip? Isn't that a red flag? It is to me. She wants to change something about herself, she says it, but mostly she shows it - if we (as parents) are willing to see it. I guess I'm looking at this as a chance to help her recreate some of her behaviors that have been less than splendid.

Will this all help her deal with reality outside of the home? Will this shape her so that she can go into the working world and be successful? I don't know. But, why not? I've got no guarantee that traditional ways will work - the world is full of people it didn't work for. And before you question my gullibility, please don't. I'm a born skeptic - I've already been down the path of thinking I'm being played and manipulated. I don't believe I am. But, if I am? Then so be it. I will do what I can to raise a good person, the best way I see fit.

 I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing. I won't know until my daughter is an adult, living a happy, healthy and productive life (whatever that may be for her, productive is relative...is it not?). In my heart I feel that if I don't believe her when she tells me she's suffering, that she'll come up with her own solutions to deal with feelings which may lead her down a path too scary to contemplate. If you think I'm being dramatic, you need only to seek out someone who's lost a child to drugs or suicide, those who couldn't just "deal with it like everyone else." Signs are there, I'm not going to ignore them.

Wow...that felt good getting it off my chest. It is scary opening yourself up, exposing something so personal - but, I've found that is the best way to gain both support and to encourage people to share their own experiences...both good and bad.

I was going to post more about my goals for the coming year, but this is enough. I'm kind of emotionally spent right now. Plus, I don't really know all my goals - I still need to figure them out. It's still January, I've got time.

I should warn you, though - my juicer comes this week and Hubbypants and I will be doing a juicing 'cleanse'. Yup, you heard that right and stop rolling your eyes at me. This is going to be awesome and I'm going be healthy with sparkly clean intestines and colon and you'll just be all mucked up and jealous that I'm glowing from all the nutrients I get from squished veggies! I happen to look good in green, by the way.

So, stay tuned for my posts on juice and my GOALS: THIS IS ME ON THE VERGE OF AWESOME.    I'll figure out the formula for awesome soon, I swear.


  1. You are awesome. A lot of parents are just too busy to even hear their children speak. High school was never right for me. NEVER. I spent my days doodling in notebooks and learned nada, well nothing that I should have been learning. Mostly I learned avoidance. Anywho, good for you, good for your family. Anyone who says else wise is a fool unless they carried her for nine months in their belly, and the next 14 years raising her. As parents we might not know what to do next, but we do know what we feel, and we know our children. <3

  2. It's hard feeling like her only champion, ya know. It seems like we (society) just want kids to fit the mold and when they don't, we just want to be critical and un-supportive. Going through this with my daughter is an eye-opener, mostly for me.

  3. "ON THE VERGE OF AWESOME" you say, but I have to respectfully disagree. YOU'VE BEEN AT AWESOME FOR QUITE SOME TIME. About time you finally noticed!

    1. Hehehe...thank you. I also like Precipice of Awesome! Such fun we can have with words! ;-)

  4. Yay!! The Precipice of Awesome! My favorite place to be.

    It makes me think of the part in Pretty Woman where the hooker friend tells a well dressed Julia Roberts that she has a lot of potential!

    1. I don't remember that part, so I'll need to watch that movie again! :-) Precipice is such a fantastic word, isn't it? It is a leaping point, good...bad...unknown...profound. Love it.