Life just wouldn't be all that interesting without adding a good hearty dose of crazy every once in awhile. We all need to shake things up, turn our world upside down and live an existence, albeit perhaps only for a short time, that is something other than our norm.
No, I'm not getting deep and philosophical, I'm talking about a home remodel.
Hubbypants and I made a deal with the Devil last night (not really, our contractor is a super great guy - this is purely figurative). We made a pact to hand him oodles of cashola in exchange for creating a larger master bathroom that will allow me to move around in the space without having to keep my elbows and arms tucked in at all times and...AND...a shower that is larger than a telephone booth (for those of you that remember telephone booths - do they even exist anymore?).
AND...get this...we'll have His and Her closets. That's what I'm talkin' about, right thar!
When phase one is all done, the crew will overhaul our second (hall) bathroom. It's going to be like getting a new house - after the shitstorm of demolition and work, that is.
My family survived the Kitchen Remodel of '07 by the hairs on our chinny-chin-chin. I suppose, if we were smart folk, we would have saved that kitchen remodel for now and done the bathrooms earlier.
Well, now we have a teenage daughter. And for those of you who think this answer incomplete, let me explain: Ms. Almost 14 has claimed the hall bathroom space as hers. She marks her territory with hot implements, sticky gels, environment killing sprays and bits of DNA in the form of strands of hair that when collected into a pile resemble a small (and very disturbing) critter. The pool of chemicals that hair is exposed to could possibley animate it, causing it to reproduce and create an army of zombie hairballs! Could happen, you don't know....What???
For an estimated 12ish weeks, we'll be sharing ONE bathroom. Uno, as in singular. The idea isn't so bad with smaller children, but shower loving teenagers who drain every drop of hot water from the tank during 2 hour showers? OY! This project better be worth it. **It isn't really 2 hours, but when you have to pee and a teenager is hogging the bathroom it FEELS like 2 hours.**
Now, this project is going to affect our master bedroom and living-room. Which means, furniture needs to be moved (and/or sold). I'm all for selling! New space, new furniture...right? Otherwise it just doesn't 'look' right. Don't tell Hubbypants about this plan yet, he's still reeling from the dollar amount on the contract. Shhhh....
I badgered the contractor into giving me a best case scenario demolition date, meaning: When do I need to be moved out of those affected areas? Of course, being the nice man that he is, he pushed back by asking when I think I could be out - "How much time do you need?", he says.
You see, he doesn't know me very well yet or know how adept I am at procrastination (F.Y.I. Olympic Gold Medal adept), so I push back and force the poor man into giving me a hard construction start date. I never learn.
"Two weeks", says the man.
This is best case, unlikely to happen, scenario. But, while I am so very good at procrastination, I am equally efficient when you light a fire under my ass. I do work well(ish) under pressure...occasional melt downs and tantrums aside.
So, I've got two weeks (or more, but don't tell my Procrastination side) to clean out closets, bookcases and rearrange furniture and figure out where to put everything in my not so large 1,600+ sq. ft. house. No, I do not want to rent a storage unit - think thrifty, call ms Ms. Scrooge, but I'm trying not to spend any more dimes than necessary.
I'm a little freaked out, I 'm a whole lot excited and I have absolutely NO IDEA where to start. Lucky for us we have a block sale coming up next month that will allow me to *hopefully* sell a bunch of stuff, since this is prime opportunity to purge and reduce the amount of crap we have. I feel lighter already!
If you've lived through such an experience, then by all means share your tips. If you haven't, then by all means leave a sympathy filled comment about our upcoming plight.
I've got lists to make...shower faucets to pick out...where the HELL are we going to put that 8' bookcase and a couch that seats 10??
p.s. - Then my head exploded.
p.p.s. - Never fear, I'll be back with before & after pictures.
p.p.p.s. - And probably during, especially if the work crew is hawt and they get hot and take off their shirts and stuff...
p.p.p.p.s. - Shhhh...don't tell hubbypants.
p.p.p.p.p.s. - Now Hiring: Person to do all of the moving and rearranging and enforcing bathroom access of the SINGULAR bathroom so that I can sit back and blog, while eating bonbons and drinking whipped cream topped coffee.
p.p.p.p.p.p.s. - Anyone?
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. - Hello, is this thing on?