Thursday, March 29, 2012

Giant Shadow of Doubt

Epiphany arrived, as it so often does, on wings made of feathers sewn together with Excitement, Possibility and Courage.

But that same wind carries the beast known as Doubt, who heard of good and happy things and who, being the destroyer of Confidence and the bearer of Fear, decided to intervene.  It is instantaneous - oh how swiftly uncertainty spreads.


That is what happens with ideas, at least with me - in swoops Doubt, like a giant pterodactyl after its prey. I was thinking yesterday (I know, dangerous right?) about turning some of my flash fiction stories into greeting cards, a story card of sorts.

My vision started to sprout wings and flutter around the nest, building strength to take flight. I then picked a story or two from my memory that would allow me to 'see' in my mind what the artwork would look like - it's all there, in my head. 

My vision's wings grew powerful and soon it was gliding among the trees, getting bolder, as I contemplated an Esty store. 

The images and ideas multiplied and soon my vision was soaring above the treetops, freely imagining the possible and dismissing all uncertainty. 

That is, until the shadow passed over my vision - Where would I make these cards? Who would coax the artsy image out of my head? How much would I be able to charge? Would these even sell?

And then, as I started to re-read my stories, the shadow grew larger as it circled above my vision -  Maybe these stories are not very good. Perhaps this is just a desperate, silly idea. People are going to think I'm crazy for trying to pass this off as a story. How dare I ask money for this drivel.

My vision became exposed, unprotected  - Doubt swooped in for the kill.  

Have you ever been excited about an idea, 
only to be plagued with crippling Doubt?

22 comments:

  1. All of the time! But then you just have to make the leap and do it! I know you will fly :)

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    1. You are such a positive motivator! Thank you, Darcie!

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  2. Ha! I live on Doubt Mountain, surrounded by millions of little doubt minions... that are not on my side! They want to make me their Queen of Doubt.

    That said, the few stories you have shared with me I have loved, envied and loved some more. So you need to shoot that whole doubt right out of the sky and grill him up for dinner... or something.

    I'm going on one hour of sleep and death virus influences so I can't quite picture the rest of your idea, although I did see an image of stick dudes on the side of a coffee mug, and pre-printed on sticky-notes. Which I'm betting is not quite what you were talking about... so I iz gonna go and shud up now. But your stories, I think they are very worthy of many avenues.

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    1. So, in other words get myself a vat of steak sauce and gnaw that hunk of doubt down until it disappears? And thanks for commenting through the death virus haze!

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  3. I'm so strong in so many things. Then I write. Doubt eats me alive but I keep writing anyway. Great post!

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    1. As am I! Isn't so strange how sometime like this can just eat us up, but going out and conquering the world seems like not such a big deal? Humans are a strange lot. I'm thankful to you, Detective Suzie for working through your doubt! ;-)

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  4. I think I doubt myself every single day-especially on school days. Why am I doing this at my age?
    But then I say "go for it!" just like I'm saying to you...

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    1. You are a rock star, Nancy! Masters program...in ENGLISH no less. You are an inspiration to me.

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  5. I think I doubt myself every single day-especially on school days. Why am I doing this at my age?
    But then I say "go for it!" just like I'm saying to you...

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  6. Oh, yes, Doubt lives here with me. I wouldn't trust someone who didn't have doubts. But the thought of you and greeting cards seems like a natural to me-- LOVE IT!
    And the cliche of the day: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
    Sign me up for a box of 100!

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    1. You have a point and I agree, doubt does have its place and sometimes works with, instead of against, us. I'm not giving up on the idea, but I do need to do some research and work on my stories...which will be posted on my blog. Boy, if that ain't baring your soul, I don't know what is!!! Thank you for your wonderful comments, you always seem to offer the right words - it's a gift.

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    2. xoxo Regina Ryals, my paranormal-writer friend says she feels like she's naked in the intersection when she sends a story out to the world.

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    3. Bwahahaha! That's great, "nekkid in the intersection"...perfect description of how it feels. I really need to download her books!

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  7. Leave no stone unturned and then there will be no room for doubt.
    We, the adoring readership say get a grip love...(sorry bad English humour)
    It is us who should doubt, that we are worthy to be reading it, so please make your cards, tell the world what is on your mind and let the rest be left to fate.
    Someone very observant once said (amongst other witty things) it is the crazy that change the world....
    So change it and we can enjoy that change with you.

    Big hugs for your very valuable comments on my blogs, I love you too.
    P.W.

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    1. Are you saying I'm crazy? Eh...wouldn't be the first time I've heard it and it's become somewhat of a compliment. ;-) Thank you.

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  8. Of course, but I usually plow ahead with the idea, because that way, I know even if it doesn't work out, I know I tried...

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    1. Excellent philosophy! I agree, but it is hard (for me) to overcome that hump. Stupid confidence deficiency.

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  9. HA! Like right now! I want my crochet and handmade items to do well on etsy but right now am doubting my choices because of a combination of lack of time to create inventory and just plan self confidence.

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    1. I absolutely and completely (100%) UNDERSTAND. I've seen your stuff, Becke, and I highly recommend you stick with it! I wish you oodles of luck.

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  10. All the time. All.the.time! You've got this one, though - it's gonna rock!!!!!!

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    1. I knew I was in good company! ;-)

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  11. Oh. You know. Pretty much every time I publish a new podcast episode. And I'm not even asking for money for those...just a listener or 3 :).

    PS It seems to me you have an extraordinarily talented artist friend (I can't remember her name right this second...the one who does those great paintings of women). I'd start there and, at the very least, get some brainstorming going.

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