Thursday, February 09, 2012

Haunted by Drafts

In the middle of the night gremlins sneaked into the computer and put up a marquee with throbbing strobe lights and HUGE, GIANT arrows that point directly to the 'Drafts' section of my blog.

All 27 of them - in their unfinished glory. Pathetic, really.

They've now been whittled down to 18.

Before you fret about the recently disposed of, let me tell you that they were not words of merit.

I've been told never to delete a draft and I really understand why. Those thoughts were, at one time, urgent enough to document. But now, not so much.

Of the 27, some were completely blank or duplicates of other published blogs (false starts, if you will).  Some merely had one word, or a single phrase - just not enough umph for the real estate they took up. Don't mourn for these lost ideas, they were never meant to strut across the page. Sometimes that just happens. 

So that leaves 18, of which several teeter on the precipice, waiting for the delete button to send them to their eternal rest. Before they go, I'm giving each wannabe blog post a moment in the spotlight - a little credit for having sparked a flame of inspiration.

Here lie the Eighteen Blog Posts That May Never Be - along with their birth dates.  I'm sorry, Ideas...I meant well, I really did.

1. Ode to P!nk lyrics (11/3/11) - I intended to write about how her lyrics inspire more than anything from with Dr. Phil (who, creeps me out and makes me feel all throwupy). 

2. "The work of art is a scream of freedom"(11/6/11) - I love this quote, but after one sentence, I just couldn't figure out how to take it further.

3. A poem (11/18/11) - I wrote a damn poem. I don't like poetry, but sometimes words come at me...all lined up in poem form, mocking my hatred of them. But I can't seem to delete it, because it isn't terrible. It is about the friendships/connections we make with people we have never met face-to-face.

4. A Facebook rant (12/4/11) - "Repost this if..."  A plea to copy/paste in your status if you agree...etc. For example, "Most people are too selfish to repost this..." or "People who don't repost this have no heart..." Yeah, that's me alright, Ms. Selfishheartlessbitch. Nails on chalkboard, that is what these post remind me of. I guess I don't need to blog about it now...check that one off the list.

5. What is a blogger? (12/14/11) - I Googled the definition and even wrote over 1/4 of a page. I don't think this one is going to make it. This idea has been done to death already by much better writers.

6. Mom clothes (12/29/11) - Self image, we are what we wear, yada yada yada...but, I can't bring myself to delete it, because it has a grip on me and I might need to finish it. We'll see.

7. Writing without looking (1/5/12) - something like a stream of consciousness, but without actually watching what you type. I did it, turned off the screen let my fingers loose. (Heading toward delete.)

8. Ribbons (1/7/11) - At a party I was asked about my tattoo, which has a butterfly and cancer ribbon. The assumption was for breast cancer, because that is what we are conditioned to think.

9. Magic & Hope (1/11/12) - Magic & hope through words. I think. I'm not sure where this one was going. It's just weird. You're not surprised I wrote something weird, I can tell by the look on your face...that I can't actually see, but I bet it is there anyway.

10. Black holes/White holes (1/11/12) - Weird was the theme for the day, since I started writing this 'story' just after #9. Don't ask...I just...don't really know.

11. Passwords & Money (1/17/12) - To Captcha comments or not? To allow advertising or not? Eh...

12. Big vs. Small impacts (1/17/12) - I really, really have no fucking idea where I was heading with this. Sometimes I wonder about myself.

13. Angst (1/20/12) - Just so much of it, everywhere...especially Twitter. Holy hell, peeps just spewing cynicism because they like the sound of their own voice. Oy. This one will likely be wearing cement shoes for an imminent swim with the fishes. Sorry, Angst I just don't think I have this rant in me anymore.

14. Right vs. Wrong (1/20/12) - Me witnessing a shoplifter and then doing nothing about it. Yup. You heard that right. I suck. I couldn't bring myself to have the grocery store crew scramble after the homeless guy. It was wrong. I suck (again).

15. Food, INC. (1/23/12) - This movie is to blame for making grocery shopping harder. Oy.

16. Bee dream (2/1/12) - I've only dreamt about bees once before, during they RAI treatment for my thyroid cancer. This second dream was unwelcome...negative association and all that.

17. Gibber Jabber Zombie Stuff (2/2/12) - It has Zombies and other stuff, I think.

18. Whine (2/8/12) - That about says it all. Me, whining about my smoldering skin and what the hell is causing it. 

There you have it. This list doesn't even include some of the stories I've started writing - stories moaning to be finished or put out of their half-life misery.

I could just ignore the 'Drafts' tab, I should....but I can't, ya know? I think I either need to give them a voice or silence them forever. I anticipate half of them, or more, falling in to the latter category.

Is your Draft folder like mine?
What do you do about it?

What do you think I should finish?

There isn't any thing else. I just like typing "p.p.s."

But not as much as "p.p.p.s."

O.k., I'm done now...for reals.

Not really.


  1. I think you should finish all of them because they are great ideas! Especially the zombie stuff ;)

    The best thing to do is just hammer it out and edit. You can do it! Don't let that wonderful folder go to waste...

  2. I have drafts and phone drafts so I feel your pain. Thank you for reminding me to clean house. Like you there are a some that I hate to delete but I no longer have the fire to complete them. 1-6 sound good to me.

  3. I have 30+ of them, drafts that is. And I have no plans of browsing over them anytime soon. They can stay there, all hidden and innocent, I'm fine with that. Most, actually, I think I finished later, and just never deleted the orginal version. So I suppose I have no advice, 'cause I like being a big help like that. ;p If they call to ya, finish them, if not keep them all tucked in until they can't take it anymore. <3

  4. I have them, and they annoy the ever loving hell out of me. Probably because they make me feel inadequate.

  5. I'd love to see the end result of the zombie thoughts and the P!nk lyrics posts!

  6. The poem, and at least #5, 6, 8, 9. I definitely have some drafts lurking that are crying for deletion. But it is nice to have a few drafts out there that may be worth bringing to the light of day, especially during Nablopomo!

    My favorite draft is a Guinness. That's my Irish heritage, though. ;)

  7. V.V. - I can always count on you to put a positive, inspiring spin on it. Thank you!

    Sabrina - Thanks for the comment. I guess it can be nice having these drafts here in case we just can't think of anything to say. I'd be overwhelmed if I had them on my phone too!

    Emily - Got to write, write, write! Some of these will, indeed, be tucked away.

    Laine - That is exactly it...inadequate. I feel like a bit of a failure that I can't (or don't want to) flesh some of these out.

    Becky - Zombie's are fun to write about, for sure!

    Melanie - I love getting feedback from my peeps on where I should spend my energy! I like those topics as well...guess I just needed a nudge, ya know?

  8. I'm with Melanie on this one. I'd love to see the poem personally. It's something I've been thinking a lot about - not poetry, the topic of your poem.

    I have a few drafts but I typically end up either finishing them or deleting them within a few days...mostly because of what Laine said.

  9. I have 23 drafts...and when I'm stumped I go back to one and force into something. Not saying it's good...just saying it's forced.

    I'd like to see the one for ribbons. I love hearing about the why's of personal tattoos!