Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Stoofed - NaBloPoMo Day 2

NaBloPoMo has daily writing prompts - THANK THE BRIGHT AND SPARKLY STARS FOR THAT!

Here I am on day 2 of this writing venture and I find myself searching the house for my Creativity. It picks THE most inopportune times to play Hide & Seek.

So, after searching through cushions and under the couches and beds, at the bottom of the laundry bin and inside the closets...I've determined two things:

1) My house is an F'ing mess.


2) My Creativity probably isn't just hiding, it has - perhaps- asphyxiated from the dust wherever it was hiding. R.I.P. my dear fickle friend.

But lucky for you there is a prompt for today that will get me writing about one of my absolute favorite subjects - F.U.D. (that's food for those of you who are not all hip and cool like me).

If you knew that whatever you ate would be your last meal,
what would you want it to be?

Since the prompt doesn't say, "...last meal [as a human]...", I'm assuming that I will just be plain old b.o.r.i.n.g. dead and will not be returning as a Zombie or Vampire. I also have a sneaking suspicion that the prompt is expecting more of an answer than: "EVERYTHING, duh."

So, here we go.......

Really...Did you think I'd save this for last? I'm dying people, get real - Viva la dessert first! I'd have tiramisu and coconut cream pie. Oooo, what if it were a coconut tiramisu? I think I just wet myself.

Cheese...lots and lots of cheese, a veritably orgy of cheese. I'd start with fried cheese, that I would dip in blue cheese dressing {I wonder what cheese dipped in chocolate tastes like??} And maybe some warm brie that I'd smear on bread with fig jam....hell, I'd smear it all over me (the soon to be 6ft under are generally given a free pass to Crazyville - so why not smear it on, because then you really can take it with you).

Seriously, I'm going to be dead soon and as much as I appreciate and adore salads, it is just a waste of tummy space when one is facing the grim reaper...ya know? So, I'll have french fries instead - I already have blue cheese dressing to dip them in.

Main Course
Thai Curry Noodles with Thai Green Beans & fried Tofu. I've compromised with the veggie, since I've skipped the salad. I don't know what awaits me on 'the other side', so a tiny bit of healthy eating is just sort of hedging my bets - hence the tofu as well. I'd finish off the main course with a slice of pizza that I had flown in from New York, where I'm told the best pizza comes least here in America. I don't think I could die and not try it.

What? you wouldn't eat dessert twice if you knew you'd be D.E.D. dead soon. This time it would be creme a soup tureen - the biggest one I could find that would offer lots of surface space for the crunchy topping.

Each course would be washed down with a different type of DOUBLE martini served in a hurricane glass. If I'm gonna go...I'm gonna go out as many sheets to the wind as I can manage without pulling my skirt up above my head and attempting to dance on a bar. The dying do need to have SOME dignity, ya know...

There you have it.

And, if for some reason the fates were wrong and this wasn't going to be my last meal...well then...I'm pretty sure this meal would slip me into a coma anyway. (Someone please make sure the I.V. is full of's been grand knowing you).

What about you?

Would your last meal be a sedate affair, quiet and contemplative?

Or, would you bring in the mariachi band, stuff your pie hole and dance yourself into the grave?

Cheers & Peace.


  1. I never thought of the drinks! I guess for me it would have to be a very strong mojito ;)

  2. Hubbypants6:05 PM

    You are freekin heelarious! xoxoxox

  3. Love this-- you thought of some yummy things that I forgot when writing my upcoming post on "last meal." How could I forget creme brulee?
    Although I'm not much of a drinker on an average day, I'm with you on the cocktails!

  4. I think I would skip all of the courses and just have four 1 kilo slabs of four different types of Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory fudge. Four different kinds of chocolate fudge. And maybe a martini in a hurricane glass, just because I've never had either of those things and it's always good to go out with a bang!

  5. Creative! But let's not limit ourselves to chocolate fudge-- have you ever tried peanut butter fudge? O.M.G.